Imagining Jesus’s mother as a redhead just makes everything limp.

Wasting a perfectly good penguin what you should be roasting it.

How do you pay the doctors if the healthcare is free?

Checkmate communists.

Her tits look just like my sister’s.

Why did you say Karens twice?

You have visitors?

I use radio controlled pick axes and AI-powered ANFO.

What you don’t use a radio to mine with?

Pussy.

You’re lucky there’s two there.

Can I post jifs in comments?

I can’t stand cupboard drawers or microwaves hanging open it would drive me nuts.

Would it kill you if you shoved forty thousand bananas up your ass in ten minutes?

So you just leave it open when you’re not cooking?

Does it not have a light in it?

That’s the look of a man who’s minutes away from shoving that up his ass.

Is that from one of those New Jersey models?

One time I did MDMA in a retirement home and a couple ancient beings took advantage of me.

Watch it if you cut them they’ll make you cry.

We’re all equal but some are more equal than others.

I thought you’d never ask.