• Velma@lemmy.today
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    7 hours ago

    I’m a woman to start.

    Your username gives no indication that you’re a woman and this site is overwhelmingly male. I’m never surprised when someone guesses I’m a man when we’re conversing initially. It’s not like the greatest thing in the world, but most people here are not misgendering me on purpose.

    He didn’t call you a “lad”, he said you might have ADHD like his lad aka his son.

    Bud feels like a pretty gender neutral term compared to dude, man, brother, etc.

    • Brave Little Hitachi Wand@feddit.uk
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      6 hours ago

      I didn’t think either of us were particularly bent out of shape about it, pretty minor misunderstanding. I feel like we can all walk away friends unless we try to litigate this? I dunno

      • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world
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        5 hours ago

        On a scale of 0 to 10 of how upset I am about this, it’s a zero. It’s just that in real life I am unmistakably woman with a light soft voice and long curly hair and I wear pink dresses and it’s really weird for me on the internet when people call me bud and bro and dude.

        Again I cannot emphasize enough how weird it feels, just like it would feel weird for a man to be called lady and sweetie pie and honey and she and her 🤷🏼‍♀️

        and it did not occur to me to make a username to emphasize my gender, I made this username in a wild frenzy haste and gave it no thought whatsoever, but I do recall one time I did have a username that emphasized my femininity, and receiving a lot of uncalled for harassment from that. It’s ridiculous. It’s just my comfort zone relaxing on places like Lemmy after I’m exhausted from my daily life, I just want to hang out here and relax. And not be called a dude every time 😂

      • Velma@lemmy.today
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        6 hours ago

        Oh same, same. I’ve seen plenty of instances of hostile sexism on this site and your reply was decidedly not hostile, so I was a little surprised at the push back. That’s all.