Which is hillarious because I’ve been kicked out of Karaoke bars for laughing too hard at my own rendition of Islands in the stream by Dolly Parton with my drunk buddy as Kenny Rogers. It was magical and hillarious. I am a respectable Karaoke singer drunk or sober.

Karaoke bars are often polluted with a pestillence of people who think they are undiscovered musical geniuses who are minutes away from being discovered by a record label executive trolling the depths of karaoke shitholes looking for the next great pop-star. Anything that fucks with their discoverability makes them go coocoo.