why have we not been arming nasa astronauts against these devious space bears or did they only learn about creamy delicious cosmonaut from soyuz capsules?
This was because they had rockets that fired precipitously close to the ground which cushioned the landing to something like 20 mph IIRC. If those rockets failed for any reason there would be a very big splat.
At an altitude of eight meters, the “Posadka” (landing) signal lights up on the cosmonauts’ console and at an altitude between 1.1 and 0.8 meters from Earth, the Kaktus altimeter issues a command for the firing of the braking solid motors, DMP. The spectacular firing takes place around 0.7 meters above the surface, reducing the descent speed of the capsule to between 0 and 3 meters per second. A speed of 2 or 1.5 meters per second is considered average at the touchdown point. The structural loads on the capsule at the moment of DMP firing was quoted as 0.1 kilograms. These loads were reported to be the main reason for ruling out the reuse of the Descent Module.
In case of landing under a spare parachute, the descent speed could reach as high as 9.5 or even 10.5 meters per second, but it is still considered to be survivable by the crew.
Some additional cushioning at touchdown is provided by individual crew seats, known as Kazbek (Kazbek-UM on Soyuz TMA) equipped with custom-fitted liners for each crew member. As a last resort, the bottom of the capsule also designed to absorb the shock of a particularly bad impact.
https://russianspaceweb.com/soyuz-landing.html
He went up there knowing he was likely going to die because of the build problems with the early Soyuz capsules.
The module crashed into the ground at terminal velocity, killing Komarov, at 6.24 a.m.
…
Soyuz 1 engineers reported 203 design faults to party leaders, but their concerns “were overruled by political pressures for a series of space feats to mark the anniversary of Lenin’s birthday”.
To be fair the Soviet cosmonauts did land in the Kazakh steppe. I mean sure the landings were probably hard but they didn’t die.
Well, the Russians had a sea, but they emptied it. So land it is.
They did have to give them a special gun so they weren’t killed by bears though.
space bears?
Bears that realize once you crack that Soyuz shell there’s a creamy cosmonaut middle.
Crunchy on the outside, creamy on the inside. And still hot, probably.
why have we not been arming nasa astronauts against these devious space bears or did they only learn about creamy delicious cosmonaut from soyuz capsules?
This was because they had rockets that fired precipitously close to the ground which cushioned the landing to something like 20 mph IIRC. If those rockets failed for any reason there would be a very big splat.
In Russia, people have always been expendable.
That reminds me about Vladimir_Komarov on Soyuz_1.
He went up there knowing he was likely going to die because of the build problems with the early Soyuz capsules.
This is why I 100% believe in the “lost cosmonaut” theories.
Even stuff like probes for Venus they kept absolutely secret if they failed - and those didn’t kill people!