You wouldn’t even be capable of staring at your own navel this hard if your ancestors hadn’t taken to eating our furry neighbors. And you have no idea the emissions caused by my diet, but since I hunt the majority of my meat I’m actually reducing the emissions of local deer herds and hog sounders in my area. I do not participate in beef farming at all, but mostly because I find it to be boring of flavor and overly expensive, not out of any moral obligation.

I am not an apex predator? Sure, I’m an omnivore. Now, however, if I am not at the top of the chain, how about you tell me what might be hunting me?