Maybe my “dumb” was a lil harsh, but the decision to actively lie yourself into the belief “i love this!” is dumb. No better word for this kind of defeat. I couldn’t even lie to myself that hard, even if i truly wanted.

Yup, I hated it too. Hated every negative thing that came with it, most of all being a slave to tobacco-corporations. Just imagine, there’s only one company left, and you’re outta cigs. What is it that they could demand of you to do, that you would. just for the next smoke? That fucked me the hardest.