I saw an issue today on a fairly popular project (better-auth, see the link to the issue attached). No repro, no context, just a wall of caps and profanity ending in “fuck you”. The maintainers ship this for free. People run production businesses on top of it, for free. And the thanks is someone raging into a text box because a minor bump cost them an afternoon.
I maintain and contribute to a few projects myself, so this hits a nerve a bit. Something people don’t see from the outside: it’s not enough to know how to build the thing. You also have to know how to defuse a thread where someone’s insulting you and not fire back, even though most of us aren’t paid for any of it, let alone the work of staying civil while being told to get fucked.
I’m not pretending breaking changes don’t cause real pain (that’s what the issue is about). But I keep coming back to a boundary question: if you’re not paying for it, do you actually get to demand anything? (Obviously yes, but we still need some boundaries)
The reasonableness of your assertion kind of comes down to environment. Say NPM where people go nuts with dependencies (and is the subject here). If for instance there is a security issue in a package used by the package in question and you must update the package in question to get the package with the security warning updated, then you must update the package in question, and there is every expectation in the NPM ecosystem that semver is followed.
That said, being rude to the developers is immature and counterproductive, and moving to a different solution if a package repeatedly causes problems would be the sane course of action.