Thanks for the novel - seriously. There have been times when I felt like my kid is just an asshole too, reading that was oddly healing. If I wasn’t his loving father, I could easily write him off as no good. I see the good though, and I’ve worked to make him self-aware about the things he struggles with. He definitely knows he’s time-blind.
Recently he told me he thinks I’m unreasonable, and I explained that it’s now how I prefer to treat him, and that sometimes he’s so unreasonable himself that being unreasonable is the only possible response. He seemed to understand. He knows we love him.
He’s more ADHD than spectrum (according to the expensive private assessment we ended up getting after years of waiting). But I definitely see him completely failing to generalize rules. He seems to do better when he knows the reasons for things, but he will still struggle with any frustration, distraction, understimulation - basically executive dysfunction.
I can’t imagine him even attempting to stick with a task for six hours, even in a completely dissatisfactory way. He would sooner fall asleep on the kitchen floor than even pretend to try to do dishes. So at least yours had that much going for her!
I appreciate the validation about ruling with an iron fist (as often as possible with a really soft glove on it, right?). I used to be the most easygoing one in the room, but dad life with AuDHD has turned me into a stereotypical stern-faced patriarch and I often struggle with the role self not matching my true self.
I do need to get him mixing with kids more often in clubs and what-not. He’s a social sponge, and the more time he spends gently being asked not to act like shit by people who aren’t me, the better for everyone in the long run.
I wish there was a silver bullet for the mess that gets caused when we let them off the hook one single time. I don’t like being strict, it takes a toll.
Thanks for the novel - seriously. There have been times when I felt like my kid is just an asshole too, reading that was oddly healing. If I wasn’t his loving father, I could easily write him off as no good. I see the good though, and I’ve worked to make him self-aware about the things he struggles with. He definitely knows he’s time-blind.
Recently he told me he thinks I’m unreasonable, and I explained that it’s now how I prefer to treat him, and that sometimes he’s so unreasonable himself that being unreasonable is the only possible response. He seemed to understand. He knows we love him.
He’s more ADHD than spectrum (according to the expensive private assessment we ended up getting after years of waiting). But I definitely see him completely failing to generalize rules. He seems to do better when he knows the reasons for things, but he will still struggle with any frustration, distraction, understimulation - basically executive dysfunction.
I can’t imagine him even attempting to stick with a task for six hours, even in a completely dissatisfactory way. He would sooner fall asleep on the kitchen floor than even pretend to try to do dishes. So at least yours had that much going for her!
I appreciate the validation about ruling with an iron fist (as often as possible with a really soft glove on it, right?). I used to be the most easygoing one in the room, but dad life with AuDHD has turned me into a stereotypical stern-faced patriarch and I often struggle with the role self not matching my true self.
I do need to get him mixing with kids more often in clubs and what-not. He’s a social sponge, and the more time he spends gently being asked not to act like shit by people who aren’t me, the better for everyone in the long run.
I wish there was a silver bullet for the mess that gets caused when we let them off the hook one single time. I don’t like being strict, it takes a toll.