I am sure USA’s gloriousness worth such a small inconvenience. Who needs toilet paper when you can make your country great again? Can you even be great while having toilet paper? Only sissy-snotty-nongreat-pussies need toilet paper!

I’m imagining a sea of angry red-hatted morons shaking their tiny, shit-smeared fists in anger. Get your house in order and you can have nice things again. Might be time to put down the Big Gulp and take some kind of action? … Naw.

Bum gun FTW

Shitting your pants is all the rage right now in Trumpistan, I hear.