The hardest was seeing a blurry image of my little baby princess cat Mable. She had passed during Christmas and it was a week after. I just couldn’t sleep. Blaming myself for not knowing she was sick or the way she got sick could’ve been prevented.
I was 33, in a vets office, letting our wails of sorrow and pain. On my knees begging a God I don’t believe in to save a cat I stole from it’s abusive owners.
So I was distraught for a while. I’m even tearing up typing this.
I saw her out the corner of my eye and heard her little chirps she would do to greet me when I got home. I turned my head so quickly and went "Mable!?’ Then it hit me…she wasn’t there. She was gone and I’d never see her again.
It haunts me to this day and I feel, honest to the Universe, that I hear her in other rooms and seeQ her run by the corner of my eye.
I’d be lying if I didn’t say sometimes I hope the hallucinating would get to a point to see her fully and tell her how sorry I am I failed her and how I wish I wouldn’t have been so busy being a father and a husband that I could have seen she needed me. To tell her that her little cat life left such an impact on me that I choose to confront life with more kindness and love, just like she would do.
Oh damn. I have seen shadows dart across.
The hardest was seeing a blurry image of my little baby princess cat Mable. She had passed during Christmas and it was a week after. I just couldn’t sleep. Blaming myself for not knowing she was sick or the way she got sick could’ve been prevented.
I was 33, in a vets office, letting our wails of sorrow and pain. On my knees begging a God I don’t believe in to save a cat I stole from it’s abusive owners.
So I was distraught for a while. I’m even tearing up typing this.
I saw her out the corner of my eye and heard her little chirps she would do to greet me when I got home. I turned my head so quickly and went "Mable!?’ Then it hit me…she wasn’t there. She was gone and I’d never see her again.
It haunts me to this day and I feel, honest to the Universe, that I hear her in other rooms and seeQ her run by the corner of my eye.
I’d be lying if I didn’t say sometimes I hope the hallucinating would get to a point to see her fully and tell her how sorry I am I failed her and how I wish I wouldn’t have been so busy being a father and a husband that I could have seen she needed me. To tell her that her little cat life left such an impact on me that I choose to confront life with more kindness and love, just like she would do.
Ugh sorry. Got emotional there.
(っ´‿`)ﾉ(╥ω╥)
You are a very kind person. I’ve had a few good interactions with you and I have enjoyed them all.
Thank you for being who you are. Not many folks are like that. I hope nothing but goods for you and yours.