It’s supposed to be secret, you failed! Shouldn’t have posted this.
Greetings, the head of illuminati.
Congrats!
Remember, registration is not mandatory, but it IS your ranking. Also, you are description.
Gotta admit, I’m a bit jelly.
This little thing of people getting Illuminati invites is giving me an idea for a movie…
So in my movie, a group of dudes decide to start calling themselves The Illuminati, just for the fuck of it. It’s just a name after all, and they don’t really do anything but get together and drink or fish or just do dude stuff. They make a little Facebook page for their Illuminati group that’s just pictures of them having fun.
But then they start getting contacted by world governments asking them to do like really high level stuff. Like, one country wants them to engineer a famine in a rival country, another needs them to help them cover up a UFO crash near a small town. Any they don’t know how to do any of this shit. James is an electrician. Edward teaches eighth grade Spanish. The hell do they know about being a shadow government? So now, they have to figure out how to do all this stuff while still making it look like they’re just some happy weed smoking dudes who like to hang out and have fun together.
That sounds quite fun. What if they have to play the different groups so they solve each other’s problems.
I.e. they take a batshit amount of money to cover up the ufo and use it to buy out all the food and just build a food silo over the crash site
That sorta happened. Discordianism takes some notes from the idea of the Illuminati. You can draw a straight line from there to 4chan, and from 4chan to /r/The_Donald, Qanon, and MAGA as a whole.
Why would I want to join them? They’ve done a shit job of maintaining order in the world lately!
You should join them to do a better job
Step 1: Give them the Ankh-Morpork Discworld books to read and teach them the ways of Lord Vetinari. If you’re going to be a shadowy world-running organization, benevolent tyranny is by far the best option.
Tell them to stop watching Idiocracy. It’s not a manual.
It sounded well worded until
WHATSAPP
Illuminati is big fan of facebook
Friend Illuminati on Facebook
Refer friend
This makes me jealous since I’m so isolated not even scammers message me.
Wait, you too? I thought this was exclusive to intelligent and handsome intellectuals like me.
I am saddened that the Illuminati sent out fake notices to all of you to mask their attempts to recruit me.
Are you even description?
We are all description on this blessed day.
I can’t even
You may soon find out that the Illuminati’s legal tender is Apple gift cards
TARGET. GEFT! CARDDS!
Ok, Chrisp?
I knew it
Skyrim new quest started fanfare
I got something similar. I ask if they have need of the spider man suit and to bring the harness and lube and I’ll bring the Bad Dragon to peg them with.
Funny, but they never reply. I really, really, want to peg them. :(
Hey, it’s me, ur Illuminati.
I am a Customer Service Hotline Worker. How can you help me achieve my dreams.
AI probing for users in the fediverse
