Sincerely apologize if this is the wrong place for such a question(/rant).

The context of the question relates to “Self” and maybe about “Power” in general.

I’m assuming the following maxims hold true:

• Unexamined life not worth living…
• Philosophy is lived. Choices primarily determine your philosophy

Please to correct my assumptions or reasoning. Can elaborate on above if needed.

I tend to myself in circles regarding the importance of philosophizing and examining my life. Maybe it’s a symptom of some mental issue… With every new idea I learn, I now have to consider it and balance it with all I’ve learnt in the past. Each choice becomes a battle of value systems and ideas and perspectives and constraints. It’s tiring to the point where I try not to think and just “do”.

But then that path leads me to an autopilot where my choices fall to my default “human” state overridden by the philosophy modules installed at the time. Then it devolves into the unexamined life. Or then life throws a curveball. I have to snap out of it and need to reassess everything going into the philosophizing state above.

Philosophy feels like an indulgence.

I’m guessing this pendulum is not new. On a global scale, Academia are cutting philosophy department budgets as it’s easier to divert money to “actionable” disciplines. No point in “wasting” time in thinking about thinking about doing things. Who needs a meta-compass if we need to walk the distance anyway (even though it helps a tremendous deal if the compass is in the right hands (which hold the power)).

I know I’ve reduced the argument to 2 buckets. I’m currently trying to consume Zen literature trying to get rid of my buckets and/or/xor trying to bring harmony of various buckets in my life… (https://tinyurl.com/verse20)

My question is: how do you manage all this philosophizing in your life? How useful is this indulgence?

Happy to accept any books/articles on this. Thank you.