I have a fun head-canon that combines Christian mythology with that of ancient Rome and/or Greece. It all starts with Jesus’s animal metaphors. Jesus is a lamb of God. Jesus is a dove of peace. Jesus is represented with a drawing of a fish.

So it seems that Jesus has interesting shapeshifting powers. Sounds reminiscent of another deity, doesn’t it? Zeus famously transformed into animals in order to seduce women. He also had a jealous wife, Hera, who frequently punished his extra-marital partners.

My thinking goes that Zeus seduced Mary once upon a time. However, knowing his wife’s wrath, he never disclosed it, and advised Mary to say she was a virgin in order to throw her off Hera’s radar.

Thus, Jesus the shape-shifting son of God was born. In a manger, of all places. Perhaps Zeus was there to support Mary in the form of a sheep or something.