Guilt helps people change. Shame gets them to more deeply entrench themselves into their current behaviors because they’re going to seek out ways to alleviate that shame through social connections that alleviate the pain of shame. The thing to understand is that guilt is a feeling of wrong doing, and shame is a feeling of lacking social value. When deprogramming someone from their previously held propagandized views, you have to give them an avenue to travel from their current position to where they are going. They need the opportunity to apologize and make amends. This is the process for atonement.
All that said, you also have to not give out too many chances. That just lets people continue to perpetuate their harm. If someone shows no sign of being willing to go through the atonement process you have to find ways to keep your community safe from the things that they do. How to do that is a discussion for another forum. Mostly in person discussions in mutual aid or community defense space, as this process is also context dependent.
That’s close, but not quite correct
Guilt helps people change. Shame gets them to more deeply entrench themselves into their current behaviors because they’re going to seek out ways to alleviate that shame through social connections that alleviate the pain of shame. The thing to understand is that guilt is a feeling of wrong doing, and shame is a feeling of lacking social value. When deprogramming someone from their previously held propagandized views, you have to give them an avenue to travel from their current position to where they are going. They need the opportunity to apologize and make amends. This is the process for atonement.
All that said, you also have to not give out too many chances. That just lets people continue to perpetuate their harm. If someone shows no sign of being willing to go through the atonement process you have to find ways to keep your community safe from the things that they do. How to do that is a discussion for another forum. Mostly in person discussions in mutual aid or community defense space, as this process is also context dependent.