Phew, sounds like i made the right choice being a sexist misogynist
Don’t flatter yourself, cupcake.
She ain’t saying they want to. She’s saying they think she wants to if she’s nice to them.
I hate when a woman is mean to me for doing something nice like holding the door because she thinks I want to sleep with her. No ma’am, I don’t. I was just being nice. My wife has all that other stuff covered.
Sad thing is that having a spouse doesn’t at all stop a hell of a lot of people. To be clear, I’m not saying this is limited to men…all genders do this. I’ve personally never understood why. If you don’t want to be with your significant other, break up with them. It’s a zillion times worse to betray their trust and intimacy and then break up anyway when they find out.
I’m just happy that around me, everyone just holds doors for everyone else, regardless of gender. Guys hold open doors for guys. Girls hold open doors for guys. It’s not weird.
it’s ok.
I’m a little mean to bitches because if you treat them like women they think they can be mean to you.
That sounds like equality of treatment and we all know that isn’t fair to some.
Just another person to ignore. The world is full of them.
I’m not sure which eye to look at
@valmerza on ig
She also makes music!
Guys I think she wants me. :\
Sometimes I think we need to be exterminated.
I just assume no one is interested in me ever, no matter how nice they are to me. I also go out of my way to avoid contact with humans in the first place.
Me irl.
Beautiful lady gives me a big smile and a kind hello and my first thoughts are: “Don’t get your hoped up, mate. No way she’s single and if she is then no way she’s into someone like you. Be kind, but keep those expectations in check.”
Hasn’t failed me so far.
I think is normal.
Mood
This is the way.
As just a random guy, I might conflate their kindness for interest because I get so little attention and positive reinforcement. No one is there telling us we are beautiful or talented or smart or whatever with any frequency, even if you have these qualities.
Your full attention already feels like more than a kindness. And the additional, actual, kindness can be taken for interest because of the paucity of people interested in “random guy”.
I don’t think women are wholly wrong for getting this type of attitude. It has to be frustrating and draining constantly fending off suitors when you just wanted a normal nice chat or something.
Just thought I’d share my older man perspective.
Not just suitors, I’m afraid. The vast majority of the women you will meet in your life have been the victim of some form of sexual harassment, if not outright assault or rape.
So, yeah, it’s disheartening but I totally agree with your perspective on this.
TIL the word ‘paucity’
The pau- root meaning few/little is the same as in pauper
I think it may be a little more complex than this. I’m a man that was quite good looking in my youth. I got fat and ugly in middle age, and became invisible to women. Now, at 60, I’m in the best physical shape of my life, have largely recovered my looks, I dress nicely, and am blown away about how differently I am treated by women now, especially women over 40. I regularly get compliments about my appearance, and due to the halo effect I seem to collect compliments on nearly everything I do. Having been invisible to women for more than a decade, it feels a little strange to be showered with attention.
That said, not every woman wants the same thing from me, but they do all seem to want my attention, including married women, oddly enough. They want to feel pretty, feel desired, even if they aren’t going to act on those feelings. I frequently get women showing clear signs of interest (intentionally putting themselves in my orbit, mirroring my behavior, initiating physical touch, etc., etc.) in an effort to draw a response from me, even women who are not in a position to follow through on their actions. These are not women just being kind or benignly friendly. Here is one recent example. I was at a friend’s birthday party, and was approached by a woman I had met in dance class. She was moderately flirty during the the course of our conversation, and asked if I were seeing anyone, as she had noted seeing me regularly with one of my female friends. Our conversation ended with her stating that she was looking forward to seeing me in class. At the next class, she wore a sexy black cocktail dress, which was a bit out of character for her. For me, she was showing clear and unmistakable signs of interest. However, when talking, she mentions her husband in passing, which made me wonder what the hell was going on. I later learned that her husband is in the late stages of pancreatic cancer. My takeaway from this experience is that she was trying to elicit my interest to bask in the glow of my male attention, and that she probably isn’t looking to step out on him (which is something that I wouldn’t engage with).
In the last 6 months, I’ve had many other similar experiences, where women are definitely seeking my attention in circumstances where they have no intention of following through. It feels good to be desired, whether you are a man or a woman, and if a woman is constantly drawing romantic interest “accidentally”, it’s worth it for her to consider what energy she is putting out.
Fat ugly chicks get raped too.
Your train of thought falls apart when you realize one thing: the bar for “attractiveness” is infinitely higher for men than women. Women don’t need to be “putting out energy”. All they need to do is exist at the right place at the right time.
Edit: I should clarify. As a man, I’m not jealous of this. Women’s lives are shit because they are constantly getting attention from the wrong people in the wrong way.
Context is everything. Sure, men are more aggressive and women will definitely get some unwanted attention. People often think that as a consequence, women don’t want to be approached by men in public. However, if you dig deeper, women don’t mind being approached, so long it is done by someone they want to be approached by. It is the reality captured by the “Hello, Human Resources” meme.
It’s far more about how someone approaches than about who approaches.
True, but the acceptable how varies greatly by the attractiveness of the who.
1000%
Same reason I’m mean to women. I wouldn’t want them thinking I want to sleep with them.
I feel you. Ill do something nice, like open a door and smile, then immediately turn and ignore them.
When someone thanks me for holding the door, I let them know I wasn’t holding open for them. I was holding it those people coming and point to someone way too far away to hold a door open for.
This is a pattern that if applied broadly feels guaranteed to spiral into the opposite of the desired outcome.
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Be rude as a rule to men
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Men interpret what was once ‘rude’ as normal behavior
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Stepping positively outside the new normal gets interpreted as possible sexual interest
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Now you are required to be even ruder baseline to avoid misinterpretation, and men just get treated worse socially.
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They’re describing a well-understood sociological phenomenon. Sorry you’re so triggered by actual human psychology
I can’t fathom being so sensitive and so chronically online that you need to post a genuine Response to a fucking jokey post about girls needing to be a little mean to make creepy dudes go away.
Oh no, I’ve replied to a meme in a non-hostile way without downvoting it and boosted its platform visibility. How dare I?
If you ever wonder, “Why am I single? Why won’t someone date me?” It’s because you say stupid shit like this. You’re not a victim, dude, so stop acting like one.
Engaged, but appreciate the concern for my dating life.
I see you’re already on step 4
🤣
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I feel like if a guy wants to know if a woman is interested explicit relations, he should just come out and ask, and if the answer is no, he should accept it. Why can’t clear and direct communication be a thing?
Most people want this, but some people (usually men) really don’t handle rejection well
There’s safety in being indirect (you can retreat into the ambiguity), and there’s the “handshake” aspect of it too where it can prove they understand you on a deeper level than what’s explicitly on the surface.
Well it’s a heluva lot more awkward once they know you thiught you could get with’em now isn’t it ?
I don’t find it awkward at all. If someone’s not into me, they are not into me. I’ll respect their wishes, keep any further conversation with them brief and at acquaintance level, and move on with my life. We all have preferences, and I’m not interested in being fixated on someone that turns me down. There are plenty of other people in the world. My life peaceful and I am ok with being alone and doing my own thing.
And?
It means where you might once have been friends, because you wanted to know if they wanted to go further, you may now be estranged (?dont know thzt that’s the word) which is sad, because you probably both enjoyed each other’s company.
This is where clear communication comes in. Te ability to deal with difficult topics and emotions in a mature manner is part of that. It doesn’t NEED to remain awkward.
Why can’t clear and direct communication be a thing?
Because for the most part people assume everyone is on their wavelength. Put it online and the problem compounds due to context being stripped away.
In my experience men are much more clear when they like someone than women are. Men are less likely to make it a “game”. Men are more likely too push it even when rejected I won’t deny that, but women have done the same as well.
My buddy recently got a new gf. He offered to go outside and start her car and clear the snow off of it. She no please don’t do that you aren’t even dressed yet. So he didn’t do it then she came home and expressed she was upset he didn’t try harder to do it anyway. They took that as a lesson and he pushes a little more on stuff like that but he also asked her to not say no directly like that and make it easier for him to insist.
I think we all wish for this, no? It’s just that a fraction of people are creeps and they will creep.
