• ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    12 hours ago

    but people going to have sex do not need third party consent from people who aren’t in the room.

    Uhh, yeah, if they’re in a committed monogamous relationship by choice, then yes they need permission to change the terms of the deal. Or, rather, if they expect to keep the monogamous partner, then they need to uphold their end of the monogamy bargain. Many problems, not the least of which is the lying and sneaking.

    How 'bout just “stop lying to people who are supposed to trust you” or “just fucking find some poly dickhead instead of sneaking around like some kind of spook” instead of “you can’t trust someone at their word even though you should be able to trust a serious partner,” huh?

    • 🍉 Albert 🍉@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      12 hours ago

      we agree that cheating in a monogamous relationship is a shitty thing to do. but it isn’t a lack of consent issue.

      sex without consent is rape. and having an affair with a consenting individual, despite being a shitty thing to do, isn’t rape. not even in the same ballpark of shitty.

      • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        11 hours ago

        I mean, I consented to being in a monogamous relationship which was agreed upon by said partner presumably before (at least without my knowledge of) their dalliances. Yeah it is kind of a consent issue, consent isn’t only applicable to sexual relations despite that being the most common context the word is said in.

        Sex without consent is rape, cheating isn’t rape, but it is non-consensual polyamory for the cheated upon. There can be more than one bad thing, rape isn’t it.