AFK BRB Chocolate (CA version)

Came here to mention that. From the article you linked:

Shomer, who called the incident a “cop overreach,” later claimed he wasn’t the only one responsible, telling reporters at the time, “I’m not the original. There’s a whole Penis Man army out there.”

Awesome.

“This glowingly price review is almost perfect, it just needs something… I know, a scream emoji!”

I love that each has three emojis, and most of them make no sense.