That’s my emotional support Saddam Hussein

Give them enough of a reason, and they may respect you as a fellow asshole.

“takes a massive hit of ketamine and says”

People were less sensitive about such names back before Nazism came back from its supposed extinction. The record shop in the book/movie High Fidelity was named Vinyl Solution, and I’m pretty sure there wasn’t any subplot about the owner either having Nazi sympathies (because what remotely sane person would stan a bunch of vanquished monsters?) or having made a terrible mistake (because nobody would make the, in retrospect quite obvious, leap, as everyone knows Nazis are extinct).

As they say in the Bible Belt, where oral isn’t sex: if you see a nice Christian girl on her knees, she ain’t praying.

They’ll remember this and, from now on, be a little less trusting

Fuck off back to Xitter

Maybe Lesbian Agenda is a noteworthy band in the Beijing post-punk scene or something?

“Would Madam care for the salmon?” — me to my cat

“We don’t bite our friends”

Launching orphans into the sun sounds like a massive expenditure of energy for limited reward. Surely there must be more profitable ways of dealing with them?

“It was for our team-building circle jerk”

If she accessed Instagram from the same home network (and IP address) as her main phone, the zuckerbots inferred that the two users were probably in the same household and knew each other/had similar interests.

You can have those in the fediverse on Pixelfed and Mastodon. The problem is that then the people you can follow are only middle-aged Linux/Star Trek nerds and the occasional organic farmer.

Octopi are intelligent, but they don’t live long enough to have the chance to learn enough and reach their full potential. If there’s ever a mutation that extends their longevity, humanity’s days are numbered.

And those who can’t teach, administrate

Don’t they also have far-right leanings of some sort? If so, it’s not surprising.

Mushrooms you can’t get high from by smoking are non-tokeable fungi.

I knew a cat who once fished some aluminium foil a steak had been grilled on out of the bin and dragged it to his water bowl.

There was once someone who printed a roll of stickers with pictures of wood screws on them, and would put them over the hearts on “I ❤️ MY _” stickers.