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Cake day: May 6th, 2026

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  • MAGAs are cowards at their core, afraid of EVERYTHING, and they always vote for a tough guy to protect them. He doesn’t really have to be a tough guy, they can be weak-ass loser like Bush or Trump, but the MAGAs are such simpering cowards that they think that’s what a tough guy looks and sounds like.

    Meanwhile, EVERYBODY else knows he would go down hard with the first punch, tuck into the fetal position and cry. When he goes down, kick him in the ass real hard. Make him blurt out a pathetic painful yelp.













  • I have an unknown eating disorder, in which it seems impossible to eat anything without dripping it on my shirt. I suspect a lot of others have this disorder as well. It’s a secret American tragedy, hidden in shame.

    I actually keep a hand towel in my car (I’ve got dozens of them for my job) and I take it in when I’m eating at Chipotle or something. It embarrasses the shit out of my son, but I always point out that I’d rather look dumb for an hour in a restaurant, than have to look stupid everywhere I go, because I’m wearing my lunch on my shirt.

    When we finish, I always show him my “bib,” so I can demonstrate all the drips that would have been on my shirt. He thinks I’m pathetic, but that’s normal.