They’ve done Paul Newman dirty.

Humans are social animals. If you can’t rizz your bosses to promote you and your coworkers to help you, then you’re stuck and alone.

Cover/close just your dominant eye. Black.

Okay. Now your non-dominant one. Nothing.

Nothing is meant by this, really. It’s a neat trick and I like to share. It doesn’t invalidate your statement, because one sense does not constitute our whole being.

Boot loops suck.

I appreciate having two bathrooms. We can poop at the same time!

Plus the bathroom by the bedrooms is the one that hides all our shame. The one near the living room is whimsical and slutty – the exact takeaway about us I want guests to have.
(It’s got a lot of cartoon boobs and butts in there, some interracial sapphic mermaid art, a small painting done in the style of classic “ship art” of a penis breaching the waves like a whale. And of course the toilet has both Moby Dick and the 1970’s photo-illustrated version of “The Joy of Sex” for reading materials.)