Who knew the P in “POTUS” stood for “Pooper?”
Anyway, I assume he only wears gold-plated diapers.

I call him Kid-ney Stone

Did Tina Belcher write this?

The M on his head stands for “Murder.”

Dracoliches (skeleton dragon wizards) are also a thing in D&D.

I’d rather lick someone’s butt then eat a pickle. Or eat the pickle first. Either order is fine. But simultaneously us out of the question.

I would cross oceans of time for free chips & salsa.

In my job, I put on all five of those hats in the same day.

“A bird in the hand gathers no moss.”

“You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t take it with you.”

Big Macs are gross though.

Rug Doctors are great. I used to rent one twice a year to scrub my carpets. Now I’ve removed my carpets so no more need.

“If it’s your first time at Waffle House, you have to fight.”

Dad jokes.

Ever hear of the vinegar strokes face?

The games are prohibitively expensive.

Even if you calculate hours-of-entertainment-per-dollar-spent, it’s crazy expensive.

I read somewhere that smoking it makes you see the shadow people who are constantly watching us.

girlfriends deadass get mad when u touch their butt like it’s our fault they got the wagon??? no one asked u to be double cheeked up like this. u stupid ass bad bitch. thick ass slice of heaven. why u walk in the room n ur ass walks in 5 minutes later.

Ok. So?

Why I will never understand or relate to extroverts.

💿💿🥜🌰