Peaceful Shadows

Yes I think you’ve hit the nail on the head here.

All this is true but just taking the time to validate those externalities would be so helpful. You know, giving their take on how screwed up the forces outside have become on making people’s lives difficult. That validation alone would be such a helpful therapy tool. But in my experience it’s almost like they barely want to touch it. Why not? It’s almost dehumanising not to. What are they so competent or wealthy they don’t feel the awful pressures as well? They don’t have an opinion as to why the voters around the world, say, are increasingly turning to fascist alternatives for example out of desperation? It almost seems weird.

The therapist doesn’t need to change society for you/us (which is impossible of course), but acknowledgement just of itself would be so validating. So, so validating.

I’m so done with therapy. I’ve been going since 1989 and whilst there have certainly been some worthwhile insights, I believe the whole thing is as much about propping up the economic stakeholders (the ‘industry’) as it is about effective help. It’s a lazy no-effort button GPs, employers, friends, anyone, can press to rid themselves of listening to your ‘problems’. So you pin all your hopes on it to find relief. It’s such a let down.

There are so many issues. Firstly, it is situated with a culture. A western capitalist culture. I reckon it’s all about making you feel less like the obvious wage/mortgage slave you are and more like an ‘empowered’ ‘aspirational’ boss. CBT is definitely gaslighting. But the biggest elephant in the room is how the 80% of your problem – the societal and market forces pushing down on you – are never referenced as the cause. They are scarcely offered an a discussion point. Like, the very thing which fucks you up is indiscussible. It’s always what ‘you’ can do. Basicallly it’s: ‘you’ve got an attitude problem’.