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Joined 2 年前
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Cake day: 2024年1月22日

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  • The hijra are on South Asia or the Indian subcontinent. I don’t know exactly what their social status is but it might differ from one part of South Asia to another.

    I don’t know much about Burma and Cambodia so I can’t comment. Barring Malaysia and Indonesia, since they are Muslim-majority countries, the lgbt community in Philippines and Thailand is widespread and less stigmatised. We all know how accepting Thailand is of lgbt, and in Philippines many gays and lesbians are tolerated, but not accepted due to Catholic reasons for still refusing same sex marriage. However, before the Spanish colonisation of Philippines, gay men or bakla were conferred a special status as clerics in religious occasions, similar to hijra in South Asia and third spirit among Native Americans. Despite the Christian influence, the tolerance of lgbt in Philippines is still intact.

    I tend to pose just having such uncontested language goes a long way for gender roles (and conformance) not being such a puritanical binary like it is in the American anglosphere.

    Austronesian languages are not gendered. There is no he or she. Probably the closest translation of singular pronouns to English from Austronesian languages is “they”, which may sound awkward to gendered language speakers.



  • I don’t want to say specifically where I’m from, but I am originally from South East Asia. A common theory for the relative gender equality is because of the sea-faring, nomadic culture of Austronesians, who populated South East Asia and later the Pacific. Apparently, because of the lifestyle and constant movement, the workload is distributed between men and women, which promotes egalitarianism. Similar thing is observed on Native Americans and hunter gatherer cultures. I don’t know how solid the theory is but I will have to read more on it.

    Even with South East Asia now being a “settled” society, and Abrahamic religions introducing some patriarchal ideas, the egalitarian value still largely remains as far as I can tell. There is remarkably more women in management roles in South East Asia compared to other countries. Many Westerners even noted how there are many female security guards in my home country.


  • I find it incredibly stupid when people blame the forests when they have a problem with a specific tree.

    That’s why I have a problem with the phrase “improving yourself” because it’s such a broad statement and nonspecific. A guy could be a gym buff but still struggle to date because he’s too shy, overly anxious etc. Women, or any gender, like a confident person who could take care of him/herself. And the problem, of course is, no one will tell the guy what the problem is because it will come off as rude. A pertinent issue is that men tend to be solitary and form less bond with others than women. Women give each other feedback, while for men, there isn’t anyone to receive feedback from. Many men instead end up losing their way to snake oil salesmen.

    I saw post on social media with female OP wondering why some men are still single. A lot of female commenters say many men are too anxious and over thinking. It reminds me of my friend who is good looking, but quite insecure. Looks don’t matter much to women and they prefer personality. Many insecure, single guys scoff when I say this, but look around and there are less physically attractive guys dating ridiculously good looking women. It is nuanced and looks matter to an extent, but it’s not a top priority to less shallow women. Women aren’t some mystical and mysterious goddesses who are untouchable.

    Women do have a point that men would do anything, including harmful stuff, than go to therapy. I’m glad that another friend of mine seems to be holding on his current relationship long, after I advised him to go to therapy.


  • In all seriousness, as a guy, I am genuinely gobsmacked at how many men feel entitled to sex and blame their insecurities and lack of dating skills on women. Looking back, I’m glad that I came from a culture where it’s more egalitarian. The schools I went to taught us that feminism is about equality between men and women. It’s not about one gender being superior to the other. When I was younger, my mom repeated to me couple of times not to get upset if a woman rejects me, to the point I told her she keeps saying what I already know before.

    Later, as I got older, I realised that feminism and gender equality is taught differently in different places, or barely taught at all. Many people mistake feminism as female superiority. Some families don’t teach treating the opposite gender with respect. Even here in Europe, despite the progress since forever, I find Europeans still have more rigid gender expectations than in Southeast Asia.

    Sometimes, being born into what family and the environment you grow up in is a matter of luck and shape who you are. Despite my parents’ flaws, I’m lucky I was born to educated parents and our culture is more or less egalitarian despite some hiccups.













  • It reminds me of Northern Europeans stereotyping Southern Europeans as lazy. But Northern European don’t realise it is mainly because Southern Europe is very hot to work for longer hours. The Southern European “siesta” of course carried over to Spanish and Portuguese colonies. Before Cuba gained independence from Spain, they only work three hours a day, and this happened only about one hundred years ago.