The Apple Macintosh wasn’t innovative. Here’s how you “innovate” an Apple Mac: Take an existing product of your company, the Apple IIGS. Make that worse by reducing the processor clock speed so your new product will be superior in some way, because your new product is going to lack backwards compatibility, internal expansion card slots, color graphics or multi-channel audio.

The iMac wasn’t innovative. It was an evolution of their existing product line in trendy packaging.

The iPod wasn’t innovative. Even the UI was taken from Creative. Rio beat them to the market by several years.

The iPad wasn’t innovative. I was handed a Dell tablet PC a full decade before the iPad hit the market.

Apple was innovative twice in its very long history: The Apple II was the first microcomputer that combined color graphics with internal expandability, and the iPhone had a capacitive touch screen. The most innovative thing Steve Jobs ever said in his life was “You can just use your finger.”

You built the world’s most resource intensive asshole, you deserve to have your lips sewn around it.

Removed by mod

Promise?

Did you know that the C5 Corvette was one of the most fuel efficient 20th century GM products? It was so fucking aerodynamic that it made 30mpg on the highway, even with its pushrod 2 valve per cylinder 6 liter LS engine rated nearly 400 horsepower. The contemporary fish-eye Camaros were close to that figure as well, when equipped with the 3.6 liter Buick V6, because again they were very aerodynamic.

It’s illegal to build a car that aerodynamic these days because it doesn’t pass modern pedestrian safety laws. See, if you’re going to kill a pedestrian with a car, you’re legally required to make initial contact at thorax height like any of the bus-nosed pickup trucks on the market today, not at shin level like 90’s GM sports cars.

But enough about China.

Reminds me of the time Pizza Hut took Papa John’s to court over their slogan “Better ingredients, Better pizza, Papa John’s.” Papa John’s’ winning argument was that the slogan is in nature a boastful opinion, as almost all slogans are. They submitted to evidence a search of the US Trademark office’s records of slogans in then-current use, and the only purely factual slogan they could find was Sony’s “It’s A Sony” slogan, which was only purely factual via tautology.

My favorite one was “I’m your blind spot.”

On food and non-alcoholic packaged beverages, yes. Find me the nutrition facts on a bottle of whiskey.

I tend to call that section of history the Contextless Era.

A lot of folks got their music from P2P software, and a lot of stuff got mislabeled. There’s a lot of people who to this day think Metallica recorded a heavy metal version of Carol of the Bell (Metallica has nothing to do with the Trans Siberian Orchestra), or that The End Of The World was made by Group X. ANY prank phone call recording was attributed to the Jerky Boys, ANY male stand-up comedian but especially Bill Engval was atribbuted to Jeff Foxworthy, and ANY comedy music especially parodies were attributed to Weird Al.

Except for a recording of the Hyrule Overture with invented lyrics. That got attributed to System of a Down, entirely because of a resemblance to the lead singer’s voice.

And that’s just what Limewire did to us. It’s been said that the modern internet is just 5 websites full of screenshots of the other 4. Yeah, Newgrounds, Ebaumsworld, YTMND, to an extent the Something Awful Forums and a few others constantly outright stole each other’s content. Just…re-uploaded the flash animations.

Should be the Oracle games done up like LInk’s Awakening.

Do I get maximum internet butthurt points if I never saw the appeal in the first place?

I outright hate it. For all of Tantacrul’s plugging on about design, he really dropped the ball, split his pants bending over for it.

Yeah the older logo may have looked dated, but I think what I would have done is get rid of the yellow glow behind the waveform and flattened a blue headset with a red wave between, not whatever liberal arts major bullshit this is.

Bubs looks pissed.

Rocks back and forth for slightly too long

No.

Derp, I conflated him with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Former sportsmen who had roles in zany comedies (Simpson in The Naked Gun, Abdul-Jabbar in Airplane!)

Look at my horse, my horse is so stabby, give it a lick! MMM! It tastes like Damascus.

It’s a reference to the night that Domino’s ran out of pizza.

June 12, 1994. Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ron Goldman are stabbed to death. The police suspect Nicole’s ex-husband, famed NBA basketball NFL football (derp) player turned actor OJ Simpson, of the murder. OJ is declared a fugitive and a manhunt begins.

June 17, 1994. He is spotted riding as a passenger in his friend’s white 1993 Ford Bronco SUV. An epic police chase ensued, heavily covered by the media. Mind you this was in LA, the place is lousy with news choppers. The chase lasted two hours and made for absolutely riveting TV. Americans across the continent were glued to their televisions. Domino’s posted record sales that night as people across the nation suddenly changed their dinner plans.

The chase lasted two hours and resulted in a ridiculously high profile murder trial, in which OJ was acquitted, only to go on to write a book titled “(if) I Did It.”

That’s why Americans still associate the Ford Bronco with OJ Simpson.

I have had so much more trouble with Windows than Linux.

They give Hannibal Lecter vibes. “This is what we make him wear so he can’t eat anyone.”

That may be the one specific film where that part of the trope comes from, kind of like how Return of the Living Dead is the one and only origin of zombies eating brains.

Point is, the general public has a fully formed, detailed idea of what a movie zombie is, and not a single movie depicts zombies in exactly that way.