It’s one of my favorite sex stories. It was so fucking funny. It was his first time with a guy, and he fucking lost it

I once said ‘no homo’ while getting a blowjob from a dude, right as I was finishing.

Ever seen milk shoot outta someone’s nose when they laugh?

They need to bring back doggerland. The Brits just love dogging…

So you should all know that I founding a new church!

The Church of the Clean Bill of Health!

Got a clean bill of health? You’re welcome at my church!

I completely agree with you, in theory. However, he is claiming to be fit for duty in the highest office in the most powerful nation on earth (or at the very least still top 5), and his entire persona is strongman. People need to understand he is not some mythical, deific figure, and that he is an old man, who is not in control of his mind or body.

That said, as the child of a disabled woman that I would gladly have killed or died for, I understand what you’re saying, and I agree. There’s a balance to be struck, and this probably isn’t it.

Oh that’s so fucking clever. I kept looking for the third error and after a good 15 seconds it hit me. That’s delightful.

I am working on a TTRPG setting (probably going to use open legend rules). It’s a sci Fi setting with many different planets. One of them is definitely going to get miniature dragons that act like seagulls now. Fucking love it

We all know what it looks like, but what is it actually? Like, what is this from?

Baked Mac and cheese is the only Mac and cheese. I miss my mom’s so fucking much it’s crazy. I can make it, but nobody made it like her.

It also seems like each time it’s reposted there’s more black bar above, and less visible face, but I could be imagining it

Until we find out if the cat has found him, he is Schrodinger’s Schrodinger.

I’m so genuinely considering it

… I know a sub… I have a ball gag… A few alterations could be made… I could do this. I shouldn’t. I totally shouldn’t. … I really, really shouldn’t…

Ask y’all’s mom!

I’m sorry. I’ll see myself out.

Honestly, I think your art could absolutely haul that load. It’s just the income portion that’s causing it to be over the carry capacity. It’s like video game logic. You can haul everything just fine, but go 1 gram over the limit and you’re fucked.

If we could just split income from the rest of it, with some sort of, I don’t know, base income that was distributed universally, then art could handle the load.

Does that birthdate say February 34th?

Any long term effects? Did you love it? Hate it?

I’ve been seriously considering trying it. How long did the after effects last?

Have you tried DMT?

Used to work security, and one time during our CPR/AED training, this dude, we’ll call him Officer Dumbfuck, kept asking dumbass questions. We’re talking, like, “if a person is pregnant and too large to get my hands around for a heimlich, can I just punch them?” And “if there’s no AED available, should we just shock them with like some wires plugged into a socket?”

Which, I mean, good thing he asked instead of doing that shit… But yeah. Officer Dumbfuck was a dumb fuck. Our entire training was supposed to be around 2 hours. We were there for 6. The instructor barely would get two or three sentences in before Officer Dumbfuck came in with another dumb as fuck question.

Finally, by the end, the instructor is visible upset, everyone there is stressed as fuck and we all just want to leave.

Instructor: okay. Well. I think we have covered every possible thing. So if we’re done here, I’m going to get home.

Me: excitedly actually I have a question!

Entire class: exhales enough to change the humidity in the room

Instructor: defeated, exhausted … Yes?

Me: nah I’m just screwing with y’all. See ya next year!