Dat ass+torso=penis

When I was a kid, about 10 or so, I had a basset hound named Amy. She was amazing. Everyone loved her. Total neighborhood dog that everyone in the neighborhood felt like was their baby, too.

We also had a bully named Travis who was an awful little shit. We all generally avoided him, even when he would throw shit at us or hit us.

My friend Hailey was super nonconfrontational. But when Travis intentionally ran over Amy with his bike, Hailey ran after him on foot, managed to catch him as he peddled his dark and stinking heart out, ripped him off his bike by his hair, tore the chain guard off of his bike, and beat him so badly with that by the time the rest of us had caught up to the two of them to pull Hailey off or Travis she had broken his nose, gashed his arm, and broken two of her own fingers, presumably on his face.

Travis never fucked with our dog again

We did the same thing, but I was the smart dumbass who knew that’s how you lose fingers, so I had us hide behind a board and drop a bowling ball into it. It cracked the fucking ball! My parents were livid

I love this comment chain so much. You have not linked anything now. Lmao

Did you mean to link me to the chocolate milk comment? Have I hurt you in some way‽ D: haha

Ha! I love that joke at the end.

It is tough being AMAB and loving the caring aspects of life. It’s as if the world sees you as a predator, and inside you’re just wanting to protect and love and care. It’s sad :(

God, it’s remarkable how similar that is to me. I’m not ace, and I’m only NB in secret, but holy shit. Same. My dad’s reaction was less awful, though

I’m so fucking impressed, and simultaneously I feel like a dumbass for never getting it

I’d be down to try that cough syrup

Oh my God

I always knew there was a reason God didn’t make me a rich man.

But what about the crazy German dungeon porn and the sex clubs‽

I’ve found that crisis does it, too. I him (cat friend, we’ll call him lol) while in a city a few hours from home, because my mom was helicoptered there for emergency surgery, and was in ICU for over a month. It was a horrible, terrible time, and the state I was in when I met cat friend definitely contributed to the friendship. He didn’t know me from Adam, but he was there for me when I needed someone

Once met a dude in Walmart who had a cat with him. Talked in Walmart, and now he’s one of my best friends.

Thank you! I’ll be going and checking it all out! :D

Do you have a website where I can read all of these in order? Absolutely loving them

More like disgust jail :(

I somehow missed the twitter craze by accident. Was active on Myspace and then Facebook, but I always preferred my forums. Once I left all other social media, reddit was all that was left, and now Lemmy. It feels a lot more like what I miss, but still isn’t quite the same

Idk, I’ve noticed a lot of people on Lemmy that tend towards their 40s or 50s

By far one of the coolest things I’ve seen in a very long time!!!