Previously thefartographer@lemm.ee
I only voted for Obama once. The first time, I voted for John McCain. What a brainwashed fool I was. What a brainwashed fool I still am; for some reason, I believe that a magical someone is gonna save us all.
The works wouldn’t allow us to commit such atrocities, right?
-Looks a Palestine- fuck.
The best part about those chips is that they’re free!
Daggum, I sure love painting this fence! I HOPE NO ONE FINDS OUT HOW MUCH FUN I’M HAVING!!!
A teacher at the middle school where I (Texan) worked was complaining to me about how horrible it is that she had to teach sex ed. She said that the kids are too young to learn all this. I argued that anyone old enough to breed is already too old to start learning this. After some increasingly heated back and forth, I loudly asked “at what point during the pregnancy should children start learning how sex works??”
To double down on her stupidity, she said “the girls wouldn’t get pregnant if the schools didn’t have to normalize sex for them!”
Exasperated, I threw my hands up and said, “I forgot about the thousands of years during which humans cloned themselves because they weren’t taught about sex yet!”
Did you know that it’s impossible to choke him out? His neck is just too strong. He can’t be choked out, not by any puny wrestler, stunt man, nobody can choke out- hey, what smells like shit?
Sell tickets for people to watch you, an untrained amateur, fire yourself from a cannon. Go for a distance record and don’t set anything to stop your fall.
Similar outcome, provides entertainment (not useless), you can have all the proceeds go into a trust that buys a house in a rich neighborhood, and then make it a safe haven for unhoused people.
When I (Texan)lived briefly in the northeast, I loved cleaning all the snow off my car. It was so novel and so satisfying to watch it come off in layers. Especially using the ice scraper on the frozen bottom layer…
A few years after moving back to Texas, we had an unseasonably and record amount of snowfall. I’d kept my window brush/squeegee/scraper, so I ran around my apartment parking lot, asking everyone if they’d like the snow off their car. Some people would see me gleefully cleaning a car, and they’d get excited, saying that they wanted to try it. Enough people wanted to try, that I just left them the scraper and told them my apartment number. A few hours later, there was a knock at my door, and my scraper was outside and 95% of the cars were completely clean.
I guess the moral of the story is to fly in some Texans when the snow gets that bad? I dunno, I just wanted to share.
Bye!
TIL that not pinching off my poo is majestic
RAM will be cheap! So will the dollar… Maybe I can get a good deal on upgrades to my server by reclaiming the gold in the contacts?
Is that the scene where Batman kills the Joker with an axe?
Thermostatic is dead. Embrace thermovariable.
I should know. I’ve eaten at two vegan restaurants.
I recommend that people first watch Swiss Army Man to dip their toe into the comedy they’re about to absorb when they put on Poor Things.
Edward Scissorshands with STIs and brain ghosts. And lots of “furious jumping.”
I also can read! But just so I know that you understand it, why don’t you read it to me? Do that thing where you follow with your finger and enunciate syllables for me, er, for you. Not for me. I can totally read.
Our parrots are perfect for a pirate, but swear like a sailor!
Next you’re gonna tell me that Ford didn’t actually invent the weekend, but was pressured by unions.
Or that tipped wages aren’t meant to let the employees get a higher wage than they could at a fixed wage, but instead only benefit the business.
You and your crazy conspiracy theories. Now, if you’re done being wrong, I have a bridge to purchase.
Especially if they’re functional as weapons; either offensive or defensive.
Step 1. Buy PC
Step 2. Connect to Internet
Step 3. Open terminal
Step 4. Ping, speed test, trace route, and cURL all day to see if you’re still connected
Step 5. Join a community and ask other users what equipment they’re using to ping, speed test, trace route, and cURL