Just think of all the fun stuff you can do with the paper ribbons you tear off! That absolutely makes up for any and all pain and suffering endured in the process!

Gotta love it, a car crossed into a median and hit a pedestrian, but it’s somehow the pedestrian’s fault because they were doing something society calls cringe?

We’d fire no guns, shed no tears

I’ve been starting to hear that caffeinated beverages don’t dehydrate you as much as urban legend claims.

Depends on the cat too. I’ve got one right now that only wants to chase, not catch. He doesn’t care about catching the feather on the string, or the toy that I throw, he just wants an excuse to go zoom.

It’d be nice if he could figure out how to fetch though. I’ll throw a toy, and he’ll go racing after it, but then when he gets to it he just comes back to me so I can throw another one.

You need to hydrate, homie

I mean, expecting a punch line is the mistake. Obviously, it’s a margarita line.

How can you sleep at night, knowing you’re spreading weevil throughout these fair lands

You could also try to find clips like these, but I’m not sure how sturdy your plastic tablecloth is.

I also have single pane windows that are drafty in the winter, and curtains just aren’t enough, as the draft moves around it.

You can use the plastic as a second bubble of insulation by trapping an air layer between it and the window. You simply tape the plastic to the window frame, all the way around, and the trapped air bubble with help equalize any draft that comes through.

You can get kits for this that can be more easily removed if you actually want to open the window, but I had assumed that if you’re trying to keep the heat in, you’re going to be sealing the window until spring.

Here’s a video showing the method I’m describing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQ2zinfyxQU

If you want to keep drafts out, I would suggest tape! They make tape for putting up plastic storm windows that would also work well on vinyl sheeting.

If the excess really bothers you, there are also these little straps you can buy with little suspender clips on either end, and you can use them across the corners to snug up your sheets. I had some knit jersey sheets once that would not stay on until I got some of those.

Edit: These thingies, sheet stays

Nah, a neighboring city has ordinance written with aesthetics in mind too. Like, it’s in the city code that your front yard landscaping has to be congruent with the aesthetic of the street landscaping.

It’s absolute insanity.

Edit: For the actual text

Entry areas, access easements, and driveways shall be landscaped to create a feeling of identification and continuity of plant materials related to the plantings around the buildings and parking areas. The primary entrances to the multi-family development, defined for this section as the entrances from public roadways, shall have landscaped areas on either side of the entrance. This landscape area shall be a triangle beginning at a point where the back of the sidewalk and the driveway intersect and running a distance of twenty feet parallel with the street, and fifteen feet from the back of the sidewalk along the driveway, and diagonally connecting the two lines. These areas may be utilized as rain gardens.

Jokes on you, dinosaurs are cool

Whatever you do, don’t look up how spiders actually have sex

I’ll save you the trouble, here’s the recipe for Tiral’s grandmother’s stuffed peppers.

Take the peppers
Stuff with tasty things
Cook them if you want
Eat

He got Frank Beard last week too

It’s wild, because when I was a kid, there was this huge conservative talking point about how trading freedom for security was bad.

But what if they didn’t go through a funky money stage. What if they went through a funky starfish phase?

OP went through a functional assessment and/or rehab as a kid without being told what it was