You have to retroactively do what I did and cripple your attention span to a point where if you see any piece of text longer than a few sentences, your brain just automatically skips past it

I’m high so I read a little too much into it

If you become nonconformist in any way, suddenly the bald eagle (US) kills you

fuck dude how much water do I have to drink for my mouth to stay wet

I wanted to see my recommendations :{

Not rooted, or flashing a custom ROM, so I can’t delete the play store.

Also, my bank app wasn’t installing properly from Aurora. I don’t remember what the exact issue was, but it was too much of a hassle to figure out (or change banks)

But that second profile idea is smart

I should have done that

organic recommendations:

apps for which I already have F-Droid equivalents installed

sponsored recommendations:

WE HAVE DETERMINED BY YOUR DIGITAL FINGERPRINT THAN YOU ARE A GOONER. PLEASE DOWNLOAD LITERAL MALWARE:

// TODO clean this up

Never install a camera in a bathroom

Like, you don’t install anthrax in a maternity ward

That’s awful. I’m sorry the local resources available to you are horrific. I’m sorry I sound like a fucking robot. I’m treading lightly. I’m not an expert. I don’t know what you or people reading this may be going through.

If the crisis line is going to send a psychopath with a gun to your home, do not ring that line.

There are international resources available that don’t dispatch armed units to your exact location. I haven’t used any of them, so I can’t vouch for them.

There is no one size fits all solution for a crisis. As I understand it, the main goal is just to get the person in crisis talking to another human being. Apparently that helps a lot.

It doesn’t have to be a crisis line. It could just be someone who might care.

Please go well, friend. I truly hope you have brighter days ahead.

Depending on how serious you are:

Choose weed instead

Or the crisis line. You probably already know where to find it. Help is available. You do not have to suffer alone. I love you homie.

To access the verification can in your fridge, you could order another 6 pack of verification cans on sale at $partner© at $current_price + $arbitrary_markup $current_price

man, imagine getting blackout the first time and it ends up in the NYT

so fucked up what they did to this homie

News crew pronounced it that way on purpose with a straight face.

Pure dedication. How many takes did they need for that?

You’re not wrong, although I feel like the implication in this context was slightly more antagonistic.

i.e. “It’s only a matter of time before she leaves your sorry ass”

I had a colleague from overseas looking to visit Soweto

I said something to the effect of “Brother why would you do that, don’t you have a family?”

But apparently there are legitimate tour programmes that go in there now. Super safe for visitors. I had no clue.

I mean, you still basically get robbed by the tour company, but if you’re used to dollars or euros, you probably won’t even notice.

I like this one because you can append prefixes and suffixes to it

Fat ass in the tall grass

Asshole in the grasshole

etc.

So it looks like they’ll hire just about anyone

What’s the end goal? Have 99% of the American work force under the DHS?

And then what?

If your borders are so tightly controlled, you’re going to turn away enough false positives that everything else will crawl to a halt.

That’s in an entirely “efficient” scenario.

You’re hiring people who are desperate for money, i.e. people who are more likely to accept bribes, which just completely undermines this whole stupid system.

It just seems to me like they’re trying to maximise both bureaucracy and immense cruelty. Am I missing something?

SHIT BRO LOOK OUT

A GANG OF LINUX KERNEL CONTRIBUTORS ARE APPROACHING YOUR HOUSE

THEY’RE HAULING AN IMPROVISED MRI SCANNER

The Economist has a tendency to put out articles seemingly designed to make conservatives bust nuts through their trousers at mach 4

Is Lucifer’s Poison Ivy destroying the fabric of civilization as we know it?

Thoughts on Gentoo over something like Fedora? (Or whatever you’re using)

you make a good point

where do I sign

I have a really bad credit score

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2013

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1995

idk I’m not sure

tbf I took a quick glance through some other years and they all had major tragedies