Descent into

Glad some of them are finally realizing it at least.

Man, every privacy comm on lemmy could use a sticky about this sort of stuff.

What is your actual risk profile? What are your goals and why? Basics of privacy vs security vs anonymity, practicality, trust.

That drastically increases the risk. Then you have to have hosting experience on top of everything else, and if your OpSec isn’t fucking perfect the powers that be will tear you a new asshole.

Any sort of proof of stake or weighting of power is game-able and abuse-able. Even 1 person gets 1 vote just results in a black market of people exchanging theirs for some other thing of value. It always comes down to a division between those who “have” and those who don’t. Even simply having more power through length of time invested creates power dynamics.

That doesn’t mean that things can’t get better or we shouldn’t try, but it does mean that it’s something that can’t just be waved away with magic phrases.

Because they didn’t have the level of control they wanted, or the mechanisms to prevent being censored they wanted, on other social networks.

Federation allows anyone who finds their ideas censored on one community to make their own. If they get censored from an entire instance they can hypothetically spin up their own instance relatively cheaply. As long as a few instances federate with yours, your content can spread pretty damn far.

All the while, within the bounds of your own instance you control it all.

So it’s a combination of reach and control.

Isn’t there a federated instagram-like?

I’m not a particular fan of npm, but you’ll probably see this kind of thing with any package manager of similar size. More a matter of what’s the most attractive target than the package tech itself.

!funhole_waiting_room@piefed.social should work as a clickable link I think.

Daddy, my friend pushed me today.

Oh, I’m sorry sweety, what happened?

I made my friend mad today.

What did you do that made them mad?

I pushed them.

I have this conversation with my toddler like every other week. Keep telling her we don’t push people, it’s not nice, etc. Eventually it’ll get through.

That’s a pretty important callout, especially when catbox specifically has a non-permanent sister site.

You need some therapy. You divorced his dumb ass and you clearly have strong feelings about it still. Trauma is valid, but taking it out on an entire gender isn’t.

The entire point of this sub thread is “this still sometimes happens to guys who aren’t massive piles of shit”, and all of your responses amount to “No, you are all piles of shit! Only piles of shit ever feel this way, so by definition you’re a pile of shit!”

It’s some really disgusting circular logic. There are horrible assholes out there like you say. There’s way too many of them. But you keep making massive assumptions about the commenters here with no evidence whatsoever, then burning the assumptions at the stake as truth.

Just give it a rest. I’m truly sorry your ex was terrible, and it sounds like divorce was letting him off easy.

Jesus christ you just can’t stop. I’m not an incel and I’m not any of the other unhinged shit you’re spouting now. Go take your meds.

Holy shit I really got to you didn’t I?

I saw you made two responses to my comment showing you were wrong. I knew you were big mad, but this is hysterical. I didn’t realize you were having a full on breakdown outside our little sub-comment chain.

You’re yapping an awful lot about “I have hot sex with my wife” for a guy supposedly happy, stable, and a better husband than the rest of us InCeLs. Thanks man, you’ve just made the next couple days for me.

Edit: For context, this guy called me an incel and heavily implied I had no idea what the fuck I was talking about. I clapped back with a picture of my hand, wedding ring, my toddler’s foot, and a hand written timestamped note telling him to go fuck himself. He’s been flying off the handle making absurd accusations since.

Is that middle one supposed to be someone who died while kissing a decapitated head they propped up in a urinal? Wow.

I don’t think you know me at all, and you need to stop attacking shadows.

Is that enough evidence for you? My hand with my wedding ring, a few of my daughter’s toes at the top, and an old school style hand written timestamped note.

My two year old daughter has been having awful allergies since last night, when I slept on the floor in her room so I could comfort her when she kept waking up coughing throughout the night despite having doctor approved antihistamines, some “all natural”/home remedy cough syrup, and an albuterol rescue inhaler. I used the snot sucker, warm water to help cut the mucus, kept her propped up to help with breathing and mucus drainage. My wife got a full night of rest. No baby monitor, no interruptions.

This morning I’m also solo for around four and a half hours while my wife goes and does a weekly thing that helps keep her real passion (that she can’t do for a living unfortunately) alive.

I’m not looking for an award for doing the husband and father thing. I’m not expecting anything from her for this, and I’m not expecting anything from the internet or the comment section at large. I don’t need fucking “good boy points”.

What I need is for chucklefucks like you to just fucking stop. Stop telling every man with issues in their relationship that it is always without a doubt their fault. That they clearly don’t understand. That they’re having unreasonable expectations. That there is absolutely 0% chance they’re anything but wrong. Just take a step back and leave room for not even bare minimum understanding or sympathy, but just keeping your damn mouth shut if all you have is throwing shade.

Long as we’re throwing the “I’m actually a better more understanding husband than you and you don’t understand childbirth” shit around, let me slap my metaphorical cock on the table.

My wife hemorrhaged two thirds of the blood in her body during childbirth. The first moments of holding my child were struck through with concern that I was losing my wife. The nurses had the god damn crash cart ready.

Your insight into the birthing process is not unique.

I’ll say it again. This entire subthread has been born from the condition “what if the man wasn’t a shitpile”, and 90% of the responses have been bunch of people incapable of accepting that as a possibility, building strawmen, and then don quixote-ing themselves into a sense of moral superiority. Just fucking stop.

I think your point about differing needs is really the core of all of the friction. At least when we’re not talking about the worthless kind of husband demanding shit and not actually being present etc.

I can only speak for myself, but the presence or lack of physical intimacy has a massive effect on whether or not I feel: valued, appreciated, or desired in a relationship. Lack makes me start thinking things like “Am I your partner, or just the provider^tm? Do you actually want me around when I’m not providing value, doing things for you? Is this a job or a relationship? Are you no longer attracted to me? Do you even really want to be near me, spend time with me?”

And note I keep using the phrase “physical intimacy”. I’m not a prude, if I meant sex I’d say it directly. That’s part, but not all of it.

When we potato on the couch, has it literally been months since my partner sat next to or leaned on me? Are they literally sitting on the opposite side, as far as they can possibly get away? Ok, is it a “I don’t feel safe” thing? No, they’ll sit with me when I ask, or when I go to them, but never of their own accord.

Stuff like that builds up over time, and personally, when I talk about stuff like this I’m talking patterns of behaviour over years, not “wah wah I couldn’t get the nookie when she was trying to figure out how to get a newborn to sleep through the night”.

So it’s infuriating when the horde comes out to insist the only reason there could possibly be problems is if the guy is a shitpile, and that there’s always layers upon layers for why it’s never okay for a man to feel anything about a lack of physical intimacy. For fucks sake I do my part, I do everything I can to meet her emotional and other needs. Am I not allowed to feel like I’m being treated as a roommate rather than a partner? Am I not allowed to feel like I’m not desired? What about my own emotional needs? No, because so many shitpile men exist I guess.

That is a complete and total strawman. No one has said anything about such clearly unreasonable shit like wanting sex immediately after a newborn, or while the woman is recovering/post-partum/etc.

How is anyone supposed to have a calm and respectful conversation about this stuff when the moment you even brush up against it slightly, the “men are all horrible awful pigs and it’s all their fault” brigade comes out in full force?

I’m sorry so very many people have encountered so many god awful men as they have. I am, as best as I can, doing what I can to not be one of them.

And there are still intimacy issues in my relationship. Am I not allowed to talk about this because so many men have been awful that it’s just verboten? Fuck everything about that.

Please reread the chain of comments. This is specifically about situations where there is respect, involvement with child rearing, and with household running/chores/etc.

In case anyone isn’t aware, there’s a big project to remaster/restore Reboot at the highest quality possible. They have multiple master tape copies for every episode, and for a ton of promo material, ads, etc. Huge, technically deep, and amazing project. The first few episodes are already out on youtube, but they also just released a documentary about the whole process.

This is a severely under-discussed consequence of modern culture distancing family “connections”.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s only about 4 people on my side of the extended family I actually miss, and 3 on my wife’s side. That’s being generous. But not having that reliable help if you don’t have an absolutely amazing social group makes raising a kid through early childhood an absolute slog.