Also, if this sounds too boring to anyone - do not underestimate the power of keeping a bunch of fun hot sauces around. They don’t have to be too spicy, but something similarly vinegar based will have a decent shelf life and be pretty cheap per serving.

I’m not just eating pantry staples again, I’m enjoying a smoky chipotle bean stew on top of some fragrant mango-lime-habanero rice.

I didn’t know they’d be able to tap into the Firefox profiling tools, that’s neat! Probably great data to have as they get into debugging of more complex websites.

My go to for most of what you mention is Go, but that’s obviously a compiled language and not for scripting. Or is it - What do you think about https://github.com/traefik/yaegi, which provides an interpreter and REPL for Go? It would let you use a performant and well documented language in a more portable scripting way, but not preclude you from generating statically linked binaries if and when that’s convenient.