I always go with “but what if I kill it?”
Ah yessss, I likess them raw and wiggling, Gollum!
The one time I actually tried this, it did not go over well
Some people still aren’t very accepting of Vegetarians.
Vegans often aren’t very accepting, themselves. Too many times have I been enjoying my own meal, minding my own business, and some arrant vegan decides to come up and give me a piece of their philosophy.
Look, lady, I came here for a meal, not a lecture. And the self-righteousness is enough to make me lose my appetite.
Wow. A vegan giving a vegetarian a lecture is pretty hardcore. I guess they figure maybe easier to tip the scale towards conversion.
I apologize for being unclear: I am not a vegetarian, nor was I referring to vegans lecturing vegetarians. It has been my experience that vegans tend to lecture just about anyone who isn’t also a vegan. I’ve even seen them lecture other vegans who they didn’t think were “enough “vegan. Whatever that means.
Sorry!
Edit; I have also met perfectly polite vegans who act like perfectly normal people, but the majority have that sort of self-righteous lecturing attitude towards everyone. And it’s exhausting.
I really don’t care what you eat, as long as it’s not something horrifying like a baby.
So you lied to that mother! No wonder it didn’t go well!
Yeah no, this doesn’t actually happen but nice try
Well then that kid is going to have a bad childhood.
I was going to make a Kosher joke, but it felt like it was missing something…
Just the tip
Alternatively, you can also opine about people not taking “A Modest Proposal” as seriously as they should, and the only failing you can see it limiting it to the children of the poor.
Get in my belly.
I’m bigger and stronger than you! I’m higher on the food-chain!
I prefer “Aw, thanks! You shouldn’t have.”
