Agreed. A sub that… basically doesn’t communicate, at all?

Honestly, infuriating, genuinely not enjoyable, at least to me personally.

There may be a few people who want to fuck an actual ‘not a person’ slave… not me.

But also… you can actually punish that.

Denial.

If you … require… communication… do not reward the lack of it.

If you just let them get away with their poor behavior… well you’re not topping/domming very well, now are you?

At that point you’re basically a service top, who is also expected to read minds.

There are different … preferences and styles here, people define these terms somewhat differently… not trying to broadly knock any of them, but… yeah you’re not really in control, if you’re the one doing all the physical and mental work, now are you? That’s at least how I see it.

Actually require them to answer questions with more complex answers than ‘yes/no’, otherwise, literally sit there and twiddle your thumbs.

Shadow work sure is something, now isn’t it?

(happy mask salesman laugh)

Well, do what works for you… but know who you are, and what you might be capable of, even if … its not all good.

… a saying that occasionally pops up as one of the rotating headline banners, on dbzer0:

It Is No Measure of Health To Be Well-Adjusted to a Profoundly Sick Society.

Krishnamurti.

https://kfoundation.org/it-is-no-measure-of-health-to-be-well-adjusted-to-a-profoundly-sick-society/

Now I can’t say I’m familiar enough with Krishnamurti to blanket agree with everything he ever said, but that, that quote? Yes.

Absolutely, well said.

Agreed.

It showed the broad spirit of the users, and that the fundamental nature of the federation design model… works literally exactly as it was intended to.

Sure, you can be the petty tyrant of your own fiefdom.

But no one rules everything, and anyone, at a comparatively low actual cost of entry, can make their own fiefdom, if they want to.

Maybe we should all be thanking nutomic and Dessalines, regardless of any specific disagreements any of us may have with them, for doing the fundamental conceptual and coding work.

Lemmy’s origin story:

https://lemmy.eus/post/5460

Send me whatever you were going to send them.

… probably in a DM. Unless… you … want to horny bonk all of lemmy. … I guess you could post to gone wild … ?

You can always attend office hours if you have a particular question or concern, my dm door is open =)

… i’d say a dnd dm would be more like directing a gangbang porno.

See now, genuienly…

Having this publically:

Nothing actually happened with any ‘naughty bits’.

Its not even stated or perhaps even implied that either of us are even nude.

I tickled and kissed you, and you mostly giggled, hahah!

SFW? NSFW?

Is the eroticism, then, primarily in… that I was essentially able to manipulate you, in a pleasant way?

Well then, the demonstration of what you originally briefly described is now explicit, and can thus serve as an example to, or teach others.

Thank you, for indulging me, in this uh… educational excercise.

Did I… break your concentration?

… make you forget where you were, what you were doing?

hahahahaha!

… and I literally have not even laid a finger on you.

You called for an example of switch as dom.

I… hope I have met, and demonstrated up to, your expectations.

Hah!

but in a context where the type and amount of treatment I receive is in my control, as a sub.

I laugh because… to me? My sub, sub to my switch?

You are only in control of essentially what you can trick me into doing. And I tend to be a rather quick learner. Either that or what you can literally force me into doing. You better either figure out one of those… or … learn my rules. >;D

Safe words, of course, for emergency stop, but… that’s it.

I revel in the extremely direct and obvious control… but I make the rules of it… very simple. That. That is how I train a sub. You actually have to control or utilize yourself, really, mostly… and in so doing… I become essentially entirely predictable, a ‘solved game’. Sub and dom then cease to actually make sense as distinct and consistent concepts.

So this is kind of the antithesis of at least what I percieve as ‘patriarchy’. It is straightforward and obvious… not… taken for granted, via unspoken rules. It is ‘total’ and domineering… but it is also totally undoable, reversible.

Quite literally, I’ll give you what you want, but only if you play my game, and in so doing, you kind of have to learn to think and act as I do.

Is that … manipulation, or communication?

… I don’t know. Both? Is that feminine, masucline? Both, Other? Don’t know, but it is generally quite enjoyable.

I am forcing or encouraging a condition that makes each of us both subject and object of the other, to the other.

Eitherway, my psychosexual analysis of myself is… i yearn for a kind of connection on a level that is… not commonly achieved.

My own kind of ‘disasterpiece’, hahah!

Nonetheless, your perspective/style is… interesting. Somewhat relatable, somewhat alien, to me.

I don’t understand the desire to be … degraded, or used… but I do understand your inversion of it. Makes sense.

Likewise, I, a bi switch dude, have no desire to be degraded, by a woman… or anyone, really.

But I do understand that if you are always wearing the mask of ‘competent powerful leader man’… the exact opposite of this is deviant and thus secretly desirable/enjoyable.

I guess uh… case in point: Kristi Noem’s husband. Who has been… basically socially cucked, (literally being cucked aside, or ancillary) by his much more socially powerful and influential wife, if he subscribes to stereotypical patriarchichal societal and family roles/norms.

Results in ‘well then I guess I have to be the hyper stereotypical bimbo/trophy wife, because she is clearly the man of the house’.

A sexist way of humilating himself. … Ironically, still very self centered.

Yeah it is probably cold/cool shower time… bllllaururrrrgfjhhhhh

… tsk tsk.

You still don’t have permission to giggle.

pivots the rear arm lock to take you down to your back, as I move from behind you, to crawling/mounting over top of you. My forearm now pins your locked arm to ground, i am straddling your waist

… It’s simple.

You just have to ask permission.

Let’s see if you can.

commence passionate liplock and tongue jousting

Oh I’m not even trying to judge you or anything, you don’t need to justify anything to me, I just… I am only mean to people I genuinely dislike or hate or despise in some way, or have done something severe, of the same description.

To me that seems like the antithesis of … love or just enjoying another person’s body… frankly it would make me feel like a rapist, to be intentionally viciously cruel.

Had … a few people in my life ask for that, and I just actually couldn’t do it… fucking broke down crying, actually.

I don’t know how to pretend to be… viciously, overwhelmingly cruel. I only know how to actually be that way, and I never want to be that way.

… i guess I’m saying I’m a method actor, in bed … ?

See now, as an actual switch… or… maybe just literally me (?)… I just actually do not enjoy verbally degrading people, makes me feel disgusted with myself.

I prefer simply demonstrating, practically, with controlled force, that you are at my mercy.

… you might be be able to mind game me out of that… but I would simply enjoy that.

Or you might be able to physically out do me, which I would also enjoy.

Not insults though. Genuine turn off for me, giving them or recieving them. Taunts? Dares? Absolutely. Degradation? … find another switch-dom.

Now… learning what you like, and withholding it from you? That I can do.

But… specifically punishing someone with something they do consent to, but causes them genuine discomfort, significant pain or panic?

Can’t do it. Too much of genuinely nice person, or something.

I can only hope that Banana and I are… currently demonstrating at least one way of going about this.

Check the rest of this comment chain.

… Well, then it sounds like you need to be not able to breathe very well.

Maybe by stuffing your mouth full of… a lesson, that will discipline you.

And, you are already on your knees.

… what say you?

Addendum:

I, as well, enjoy games with power moves.

… send me your nudes >:D

They’re legitimately the best TV shows I’ve ever watched.

Just hands down.

They’re not literally perfect, but goddamnit, I have yet to see anything come close.

The hype is actually real, and deserved, for the Breaking Bad universe.

… it does make for a funny drunk story too.

… its 100 fucking degrees, has been for over 48hrs straight now, never below 90…

…, ive ran out of witty puns, brain hitting thermal limits, going to melt now