“Who we are now is but a stepping stone to what we can become.”

No one is static.

Everyone is an ongoing process… and you do have the ability to direct where that goes, how it changes.

Not an infinite or unlimited ability… but likely more ability than you initially may think.

That song is a legit banger and no one will ever change my mind on this lol

No.

I have thoughts, and want to talk about them.

That’s the point of a discussion platform.

Who are you to tell me I just shouldn’t say anything?

Pretending things that either aren’t jokes, or are really dumb jokes… are actually good jokes… is how you get more dumb jokes, and people laughing at things that are not jokes.

Hey now…

I really don’t mean this as an insult, but you don’t need to be ‘smart’ to contribute.

Take a picture of a bunny, post it to bun alert.

Take a picture of your balls, post it to gone wild.

(well ok maybe don’t jump straight to that)

Ask a stupid question on no stupid questions.

Have a political opinion, on the internet.

Find a niche comm for a video game and ask something about it.

Find a neat chart and post it to data is beautiful.

Probably the worst thing that can happen is … some random assholes give you the wrong color arrow thingy. Who cares! Fuck em! Its just numbers on a screen!

Comedy is legal now which means really bad and stupid jokes that only alcoholic bigots would laugh at are funny again.

please please please i wanna be a comedian i want people to think im funny, im so lonely and miserable please ill be happy if you laugh please laugh, goddamnit laugh or ill vote for trump again

If you can very easily explain a ‘joke’ with an incredibly common, mundane explanation…

You probably do not have a very good joke.

Are you able to concieve that video games are a fun and enjoyable hobby?

Does it occur to you that perhaps a balance can be reached other than ‘100% partner 0% video games’ or ‘0% partner 100% video games’?

Is it abuse to … not do anything other than exactly what your partner wants, when they want it, or else they will leave you?

Has it occured to you that… your mindset is the extremist, totally black and white thinking, no room for compromise, the worst possible interpetation is always the assumed default…

Has it occured to you that that is the abusive mindset?

No.

You might assume that.

Other people, with different personalities and experiences, might assume different things.

You could also assume that she’d never directly brought it up to him before.

Maybe she vaguely hinted at something… and he didn’t really know what she meant, because she was vague.

Or maybe she did directly bring it up, and they then agreed to a new paradigm, and then she realized she was still unhappy despite both of them following the guidelines they agreed on.

Or, maybe he just bought the thing and is setting it up for the first time.

Or you could assume a porcelain teapot is orbiting Mercury, we just haven’t seen it yet.

Its s really bad idea to invent context that doesn’t exist about a complex social situation that you’ve only seen a tiny snapshot of. Because you’re just making things up at that point, and then judging people based on things you made up about them.

I’m American, and I said what I said, lol

Oh we’re doing a summer time slip and slide, eh?

Narcissist.

She needs to monopolize your attention, even when it really doesn’t make any direct sense for that to be happening.

Its how narcissists ‘do’ relationships, they groom you into only being allowed to enjoy paying attention to and recieving attention from them.

You being able to spend or recieve attention from others is a threat to them.

Hope you ran for the hills.

That is quite literally 90% of what I’m here for.

Hahaha wow no.

No, this is an ultimatum, not ‘expressing her feelings’.

It is a threat, quite literally, and that in fact is a problem… healthy relationships do not involve threats.

This is not ‘hey, instead of video games tonight, could we maybe go on a walk, or out to dinner, or maybe cook dinner together, or go see a movie? Oh you had a scheduled match… hrm, maybe this weekend?’

That you think this is narcissism betrays that you are, at best, very bad at communicating, and at worst, are yourself a narcissist who is projecting.

Reverse the sexes/genders, and write that again.

Everything you just said would still be true, right?

If the man was issuing the same ultimatum, and the woman gave the response?

The first person is a narcissist.

Literally, not as insult, as a diagnosis.

They do that because they want themselves to be the only or main person whose attention and input you value.

The video games disallow them from being able to monopolize your attention budget.

Narcissists, in relationships, seek to monopolize the partners attention budget.

Perhaps ironically, that doesn’t apply in reverse though… they’re allowed to monopolize the attention of many people, in their minds.

Other people though, no, they’re not allowed to do that, other people the narcissist knows are only allowed to spend attention on the narcissist.

Its not a strawman.

I personally know a fair number of guys that have had nearly this exact interchange.

With the addition of… after the ‘well im displeased by the ultimatum, that you would do that’… then the woman begins screaming and becomes physically violent, destroying property, assault, etc.

Roughly 2/3 as many men are victims of female domestic violence as women are victims men.

Its… pretty common actually.

Literally none of this is about neurodivergece.

Its about at least one partner being terrible at communicating their actual wants and needs and boundaries… then growing resentful… then issuing a total ultimatum.

A scenario like this can only happen if at least one person is terrible at telling their partner want they want and need and expect out of the relationship, out of the other person.

It can be that both are terrible at communicating, but it has to be at least one, the ultimatum issuer.

Or… the partner could use their words, and describe, clearly, what qualifies as ‘spending time together’.

Maybe they could do as you’ve done, and suggest some particular activities, that they would enjoy.

No one in a two party relationship needs to be neurodivergent… for two people to have different attachment styles, love languages, etc.

Also, is it up to member one of the relationship to… figure out what member two … wants?

Why is member two not responsible for understanding themself to the point they can describe what they want in a meaningfully precise way?

Is… member two… cognitively impaired?

Too shy to … communicate?

Then they shouldn’t be in a relationship.

People have different opinions and views of this.

If you can’t clearly communicate to your partner what your definition is? What your needs and boundaries are?

You are too immature to be in a relationship.

There are waaaaaay too many gray areas… people are different, in many little ways.

You cannot rely on the non existent mind reading capabilities of your partner, you have to use your words.

The meme is a bit wordy, but uh no, plently of people in relationships are not great at communicating, setting clear expectations and boundaries…

But issuing an ultimatum is a power move, that if acquiesed to, sets a precedent where that can be done for anything. This is antithetical to a relationship where each person respects the other one. After an ultimatum like this, such mutual respect is impossible going forward.

The only correct choice, for both people, is that if an ultimatum like this is issued, or one person genuinely thinks they have no other option?

You two are done.

You do not work as a couple, wrap it up.