The wild part is that I’m not even 40 yet.

And, I am literally autistic, struggled with socializing a fair bit in middle and high school, and then forced myself to learn social skills in college, in part through going to bars and learning how to be a wingman and such.

Like… what I have described is the 101 stuff, lol.

Maybe I’m just… too good at masking, or something? I dunno anymore.

Ok.

Let me explain how bars work.

They are generally fairly small and crowded.

There are often a lot of people having conversations with a lot of other people.

You can often hear some, or most of these, depending on where you are sitting.

Overhearing other peoples private conversations, that they are having in a public space, often loudly…

… That is not eavesdropping.

That is existing, in a bar.

Framing this as eavesdropping is absurd.

Eavesdropping, quite literally, derives from the concept of pressing your ear up against a window to a home or bedroom, from outside of it.

The ‘eave’ is basically the part of a roof or window design that hangs over it, kinda like an awning.

So, you hang onto or crouch down on the eave of the window, listen to the private conversation, and then drop down from it once you’ve heard enough.

Yeah, that’s creepy spying shit.

You have a reasonable expectation of privacy in a private home.

You do not have this in a bar, or pub.

Pub being a shortening of roughly ‘public house’, a place where people are meant to gather, mingle, and interact.

Maybe anon is not religious.

Try reading all of them.

Nah.

Rude?

On the guy’s part?

No, not at all.

Done pretty clumsily, awkwardly?

Sure.

But, assuming OP actually said what they said they said, that’s not impolite, that’s not rude.

Its not insulting.

It makes literally no difference at all that the guy was sitting in the bar listening to her talk to her friends for 3 hours before he worked up the nerve to attempt to ask her out.

What if he had… just walked in and did this?

Or… been at the table nearby for 30 minutes?

Or was playing Pool for an hour near the table?

None of those things factors in to how rude or not his actions toward her were.

Also… what world are you living in where talking to someone you haven’t previously met, in a bar, is a social faux pas?

The… whole point of going to a place with a bunch of people drinking is to be at a place with a bunch of people drinking.

I met new people at bars all the time back in my college days, made a lot of friends that way, sometimes a bit more than friends.

This is like, how society worked for at least a hundred years, basically before the invention of TikTok/Instagram.

I am honestly baffled by your stance here.

This isn’t a sit down restaurant.

Its a bar. A pub.

Like sure, barging into an ongoing conversation and inserting yourself into it does require some tact, skill, and ability to just bounce off if its clear your presence is not appreciated.

But her level of cruelty was far, far more rude than anything this socially anxious guy did.

I was the guy who apparently was in your 8 to 10 range, as I’d do basically this, though a bit more smoothly, and fairly often it would work.

Sometimes you get a soft, polite no, and that’s totally fine.

Sometimes, you get a hard no, a vicious no, like this one.

And that stings.

This guy, OP? His entire world is hard nos, every time he tries.

He is literally despairing over this, and you call him rude.

This is the kind of mindset that you have, that led to the proliferation of the saying and concept ‘Bros before Hoes’.

That doesn’t mean all women are hoes.

It means guys with pretty privilege wingman for their bros without it, and help their bros recover from brutal rejections like this one.

Honestly, I’ve even wingmanned for socially awkward gals too, work them into a conversation I’m already having with some guy they’ve told me they very much fancy, but are too scared to even approach.

… Extra nips?

Are you… Scaramanga, from the Man with the Golden Gun?

Alternate explanation:

This person is Finnish, English is not their primary language, jokes and colloquial sayings very often do not really directly translate between languages.

Ring.

Ring.

… Who is it?

… Honey, who is testicular torsion, and why do they want to talk to you?

concrete and inescapable, yet whimsical and stylish

objective and happy

Please do go easy on the ‘Twist It!’

What.

How does that logic work?

They say they are bisexual.

This implies they have had sexual encounters with both meat rods and meat flowers.

… You know what to do based on … what shape the sexy time meat is.

… How is this complicated?

Fair enough, lol!

You have to make the accompanying hand gestures, which I can only describe as kinetically emphasized whining.

The more he wants to whine about something he detests, the more he uses his little hands to make little motions, like they’re an exclamation point for how annoyed he is.

This is opposed to say, emphasis for dramatic effect, to convey conviction, seriousness, passion, anger, or something like that.

That’s the part he did not manage to learn from his nightstand collection of Hitler’s speeches.

I mean, this… isn’t surprising at all?

Blustering around confidently exploits how … duller human brains interpret factuality.

Moneky brain see confidence?

Monkey brain know they must be correct!

This is the basis of … well, con artists, you know, confidence artists, a whole lot of PUA type shit, uh, a whole lot of politics, a whole lot of marketing…, many debate and negotiation tactics/styles…

Being a bullshitter is a common thing because bullshitting is broadly very effective.

… Did you just… counter a Trump-pression with a Bill Burr-pression?

Memetically compatible solution:

OP is a femboy.

Oh dear god I had not seen that graph updated in some years.

The captured picture is incredible.

Verdict: Extremely obviously guilty.

Sentence: One whole week of only dry food.

bad kitty!

You really, really can accurately judge a lot about people by whether or not they return the shopping cart, how they treat “the help”.