Saul Goodman.

… it is extremely funny that you extrapolated from that, that I cook naked.

… Because I actually do, quite often, now that you bring it up.

Teaches you to be precise and delicate, very quickly.

But uh yeah, I would at least wear an apron for bacon, anything with popping grease… sorry about your scar.

… this is confusing to me.

Like… you’re doing a kind of power move, but like, in reverse.

…hrm.

… I’ve never sent an unsolicited dick pic.

Sure, if someone is asking… and like, we are actively, mutually sexting…

I dunno.

Never made any sense to me at all, to do that unprompted.

Not trying to like, dog on you, I just literally don’t get it, how it would sense to do that.

…

I just boil barilla penne in my little rice cooker.

Put in the water, bit of salt, bit of pepper, bit of italian seasoning.

Bring to rolling boil. (this takes ~10min w/ my rice cooker)

Add pasta.

Do nothing, the pasta stirs itself because rolling boil, wait 5 minutes.

Get mitts, keep the lid on the cooker bowl thing, pour out 90%-95% of the water through the vent hole on the lid. Should take another minute or two to empty the water this way.

Slap what remains into a bowl.

Now presumably you also have some pre grated or shredded cheese, as well as some kind of italian sausage or something grilling up on a skillet… flash it if you have to, sear it a bit maybe, the pour marinara over the skillet.

Stir occasionally for maybe 2 minutes, at high heat, now dump all that onto the penne, and then sprinkle on the cheese.

Kablamo, italian pasta from a rice cooker.

Now… the real ‘chef’s kiss’… also have some italian bread that you’ve lightly braised with olive oil, dusted with a cheese crumble, and then toasted. Then, have olive oil and/or balsamic vinaggrette as a dipping sauce.

Bellissimo.

You can also dip the toasted bread into the pasta, no one is stopping you.

But yeah basically the trick with pasta is… don’t involve the pasta untill the water is well good and angrily boiling.

… did I give you permission to giggle?

Here, I’ll make you giggle.

arm locks you, spins you half around, uses my shin to press on the back of one of your knees, takes you to your knees, and tickles you, not stopping for a good solid 3 minutes

Have we learned our lesson?

(i am of course presuming we’ve already set up safe words here)

And how dare you sir, not even pretend to acknowledge my terrible pun!

True, my mistake, I accidentally made a false e-statement.

… you rang?

(90s movie announcer voice)

She, was just an innocent girl, trying to get a leg up on household chores…

… but she never expected, to get tripped up, in a romance, of ethically dubious proportions…

… coming, this summer…

… April’s Spring Cleaning.

(fade to black with movie title, with the sound of a squeaky ladder being folded and unfolded increasingly rapidly)

I … i don’t… i can’t get my brain to concieve of a way were this course of action makes any sense.

I literally cannot comprehend this level of arrogance.

…ffffffFFFFFffffffff…uck.

EDIT:

Also too late, i already went there and made a few troll posts and then blocked him, and then the instance, lol.

They don’t understand how to not be priveleged and agreed with.

Its a foreign concept to them, ever being wrong or unjustified about anything.

Oh… dear dear dear.

Nobody … directed harrasment against this whiney and censorious adult pissbaby.

It was spontaneous.

db0 themself could have specifically messaged me, telling me something like ‘please remain civil in this trying time’ and i would have replied ‘lol’ and trolled this fucking idiot on his own boards, that he remembered to only secretly shadowban me from, but not actually ban me from… anyway.

… is Admiral Patrick Star familiar with the phrase ‘become ungovernable’?

Your idiot rules have no power over me, in this place.

I obey only rules I find reasonable.

… Also, how is a total retreat and defeat… not… giving us all the personal satisfaction of having won?

That… makes 0 sense.

He also admits this has taken away considerable attention from his IRL responsibilities.

Actual flawless victory, lemmy, truly: bravo.

Did…does he realize that he could have just made his own instance, and just not federated with the instances he doesn’t like?

I… how… did he read the documentation… on lemmy? Does he know how lemmy works?

I will never comprehend the sheer arrogance.

Just incredible.

I want to thank you for reminding me that not all .world mods are shitlords, that some have integrity and ethics.

I’ve… had a lot of bullshit, from a lot of them, but this reminds me that I should not put people in a box, just because of what comes after the @.

…oh dear god.

facepalm

No I mean yeah.

That… actually is a straight up crime, in pretty much most countries.

Yep.

But he makes the rules, so they don:t apply to him.

Not ‘almost’.

Just actually.

This a person who is a control freak facsist in their personal life, cannot handle other people doing things that they didn’t vet first.

I broadly agree with that, but phrasing it as you originally did… leaves open the potential of many interpretations, and is thus… well in this context, inherently inflammatory.

Such as the interpretation of basically ‘all women want only money or expensive things/experiences’.

I would say that love can exist amidst squalor, but certainly the poverty makes it much, much more rare and difficult achieve or maintain.

I’m not going to tell you gold diggers do not exist, or that many women are not broadly financially illiterate, irresponsible, or that many women are not vain.

But many of them are none of those things, many men are.

Qualified statements are probably a better plan with uh, high conflict topics.

That… is indeed interesting.

I was vaguely aware that… there are some known instances where cancer actually is transmissable, but usually only in the context of pregnant mother to child.

But… this… … well, shit.

… I guess its not actually possible to 100% rule out ‘my dog gave me colon cancer.’

Still seems quite unlikely… but maybe not strictly completely impossible?

Aw, you have the sniffles?

God bleff you.