The actual literal written document makes considerable use of ’ ſ ', this is from a rare typed version that does as well.

No one cares that you are politely ruining their life.

I’ve been fired into direct homelessness, and I made that HR cry.

Everyone should do that.

You need to feel that bad.

Otherwise, we will just keep going on with this inhuman system.

Its the psychopath version of when the waiter says ‘enjoy your food!’ and you respond ‘you too!’

Not myself a doctor, but, basically yes?

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/link-red-meat-cancer-need-know

Cancer is not… one thing.

It is a huge family of diseases that… work in the body in very similar ways, but … more or less, each different kind of tissue in your body has different things that are either known to, or are strongly suspected to increase the likelihood that a cancer will develop in them.

(Not counting ‘so i accidentally bathed in the light of the demon core’ or something like that.)

Anyway, again to the best of my not an expert understanding… you have to have a considerably red meat heavy diet, for your chances of colon cancer to rise.

I mean strictly speaking, yes, it is odd to describe a dog directly with human socioeconomic descriptors.

But yeah, I meant it as ‘the dog is owned by a poor human’.

Ahah, thats more … dissasociative personality disorder, split personality, multiple personality.

Schizophrenics have other voices in their head, but they treat and experience them as alien, not them, they’re often antagonistic toward the other ‘people’, in there, get angry that they can’t not hear from them.

DPD?

Such people usually view themselves as essentially a container for multiple ‘people’, whom they all usually do view as ‘themself’… they just have multiple ‘themselves’, that they would actually tell you can all work together to achieve something.

I hope this message finds you well,

… as that would be quite something, given that your office apparently … burst into flames, not too long ago?

You ok?

As per our previous emails, I’ll be reporting that to the city fire marshall as well, as you really would think a sprinkler system of some kind would have tiggered.

I’m sure you don’t still keep that pannini press in your office, so my only guess would be some kind of electrical outlet or breaker is not up to code.

Anyway, I’ll look over the IAR when I get back from the vacation I am currently on.

Its a tough jog, but somebody’s gotta do it.

I am writing to you today to inform you that I do not care.

Have a great day! =D

• When we all sing together, we sing in harmony

Somewhat more charitably…

Causal misattribution.

They both got cancer because they both eat meat with too much of some kind of carcinogenic toxin in it, (or waaay too much red meat in general), because they are both poor and live in a polluted area or at least area with poor food standards.

That also correlates with the ignorance, but still an attempt to craft an explanation: never had the chance to get well educated, else they’d know cancer is not … contagious, broadly transmissable.

Poor dumbass tried to spell ‘Prevent’ and ended up with ‘Pervert’.

I was going to say ‘but you can argue with schizophrenia!’… and then I realized well that wouldn’t actually achieve anything now would it.

Ok now we need this but the ray is pointing directly at someone tanning their taint.

*Crapescular.

… what do you think happens if I, totally deadpan, as if its my 10 year + regular order, ask for a ‘happy ending’?

If they don’t know what that means, then I instantly rattle off “oh, its a london fog, but instead of lavender, a splash of either orange bitters, or grenadine, or both, up to you.”

???

I can see how it would be very annoying to genuienly be trying to sleep, and someone is playing video games in the very same room.

Maybe move the console to the living room, use a headset?

If he’s got too much energy to sleep, and she wants sleep now… this seems mutually agreeable?

Maybe I’m an odd duck, but what’s always made sense to me, as a very light sleeper, is that a couple would each have their own beds, where they could sleep in the same bed when feeling more cuddly, or seperately when truly exhausted.

So you’re saying that … a woman’s partner having more money … makes them… decisive?

Like, inherently?

… or because women only want to do things that cost a significant amount of money, and give noncommital answers when such money is not present?

I am genuienly trying to follow the logic here.

… is the joke that the girls were too old, or too good at essentially fleecing their Johns?

I somehow managed to both use my first word processor program and play the Sims 1 at almost the same time, so … its both, but I prefer calling it the Simolean symbol.

And if you disagree, well, kra gee narwok, habadu ba blingblong.

There’s also thiſ.

The ‘long s’.

An f without the crossbar, ſ , sometimes more fully shaped at the bottom, like the integral symbol.

As best I can tell… linguists have not actually been able to figure out totally consistent rules for its usage, beyond ‘it replaces s, sometimes’.

It seems to pretty much be purely stylistic flair, everyone who did use it seems to have slightly different rules for how and in what circumstances they did. It tends to follow certain broader rules, but counterexamples can be found for most of them.

… I wonder if we could merge old/middle english characters and l33t sp33k.

ð4t aſſ B b0unc1n, æ’r3 d4y, æ’r3 9t

Wait, what.

… oh no. Nope.

Nope, not going back to set theory, it is 105F / ~40C right now, highly confident I would give myself heat stroke.