A few years ago I was heading to the major city children hospital near us for a post op follow up for my kid. GPS said it would take 1.5hrs to get there so I left 2hrs early to make sure we get parking and we’re able to get to the appointment early. Well traffic ended up being so bad it took 4hrs to get to the hospital. I called ahead of time and asked if it was ok that we still go to the appointment because we were running way later than expected. The doc office said it was fine and to just get there as soon as we could. So we got to to hospital and up to the office and they saw us right away. Well the doc gets in the room and she starts yelling at me about being late and how disrespectful it is and how us being late impacts everyone’s day. I apologized a few times as she continued to yell. Finally I said calmly “ok lady we get it. I apologized and I called ahead and your office folks said it was fine.”. Well she lost it on me after that. She said “DO NOT SCREAM AT ME OR THREATEN ME!”, then she told the nurse to call security to escort me out. I very calmly said “I did not yell. I did not threaten anyone. I simply said we understood and I don’t need to be lectured on it. It’s sounds like we all have had a stressful morning so let’s just continue with the appointment and call it a day.” And that is exactly what we did. Any followup we have had since then has been very pleasant. Just caught her on a bad day I guess.
Having a bad day is one thing. Taking it out on your patient by lying, yelling, threatening, and trying to delay their care is quite different. You must be a very forgiving person because I would have plastered details of that interaction on Google, social media, local news, their boss (if they have one), etc. Unless they’re literally the only person with that expertise in the world, no one should have to be treated like that…
That did cross my mind. However she’s a phenomenal surgeon and that is all I needed her to be. Her skills dramatically changed the quality of my kid’s life for the better so it was well worth it. Also every interaction with her since then over the years has been perfect. Maybe she found out her husband was cheating on her that morning? Maybe her grandmother passed away and she just got the news before the appointment? Whatever it was, what I said to her was just the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Yeah the industry has just kinda accepted that surgeons are just like that lol. A lot of hospitals are settling for just getting them to stop shanking the circulating nurses with spare scalpels. Honestly I used to work with criminally insane men so I could probably grapple a surgeon. My issue with OR was that it’s too cold and I couldn’t scratch my nose when it itches. Also ortho surgeries in particular are a sensory nightmare it was like a soundbyte of a dwarven mine from a fantasy movie on loop for eight hours just –ding ding ding CLANG ding ding ding CLANG ding ding– I could not.
Thankfully we only have to see her once every 6 months or so. Plus she’s been absolutely great since the incident. I think she was probably a little embarrassed afterwards.
A few years ago I was heading to the major city children hospital near us for a post op follow up for my kid. GPS said it would take 1.5hrs to get there so I left 2hrs early to make sure we get parking and we’re able to get to the appointment early. Well traffic ended up being so bad it took 4hrs to get to the hospital. I called ahead of time and asked if it was ok that we still go to the appointment because we were running way later than expected. The doc office said it was fine and to just get there as soon as we could. So we got to to hospital and up to the office and they saw us right away. Well the doc gets in the room and she starts yelling at me about being late and how disrespectful it is and how us being late impacts everyone’s day. I apologized a few times as she continued to yell. Finally I said calmly “ok lady we get it. I apologized and I called ahead and your office folks said it was fine.”. Well she lost it on me after that. She said “DO NOT SCREAM AT ME OR THREATEN ME!”, then she told the nurse to call security to escort me out. I very calmly said “I did not yell. I did not threaten anyone. I simply said we understood and I don’t need to be lectured on it. It’s sounds like we all have had a stressful morning so let’s just continue with the appointment and call it a day.” And that is exactly what we did. Any followup we have had since then has been very pleasant. Just caught her on a bad day I guess.
Having a bad day is one thing. Taking it out on your patient by lying, yelling, threatening, and trying to delay their care is quite different. You must be a very forgiving person because I would have plastered details of that interaction on Google, social media, local news, their boss (if they have one), etc. Unless they’re literally the only person with that expertise in the world, no one should have to be treated like that…
That did cross my mind. However she’s a phenomenal surgeon and that is all I needed her to be. Her skills dramatically changed the quality of my kid’s life for the better so it was well worth it. Also every interaction with her since then over the years has been perfect. Maybe she found out her husband was cheating on her that morning? Maybe her grandmother passed away and she just got the news before the appointment? Whatever it was, what I said to her was just the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Yeah the industry has just kinda accepted that surgeons are just like that lol. A lot of hospitals are settling for just getting them to stop shanking the circulating nurses with spare scalpels. Honestly I used to work with criminally insane men so I could probably grapple a surgeon. My issue with OR was that it’s too cold and I couldn’t scratch my nose when it itches. Also ortho surgeries in particular are a sensory nightmare it was like a soundbyte of a dwarven mine from a fantasy movie on loop for eight hours just –ding ding ding CLANG ding ding ding CLANG ding ding– I could not.
I take back what I said: you’re also an amazing parent. All fair points, but I hope she at least apologized…
Better than me. I would’ve had an attitude every time I had to go back.
Thankfully we only have to see her once every 6 months or so. Plus she’s been absolutely great since the incident. I think she was probably a little embarrassed afterwards.