I don’t agree with your twist of my analogy. I expect you to be honest about a meal you serve to me if you know i care about its contents, just as i expect that you are honest about any other thing you know i find important. IMO thats the core of respect, and respect in a relationship is a huge thing for me.
So it might seem inherently irrational to you, i just dont get why that matters at all. Again, in my view, how the person i care about, feel about a particular thing that’s important to them, supersedes how i personally feel about it, because i care about - and respect - the PERSON, not the thing in question.
But meal wise, she did not serve you anything wrong. all that she did is that she served another meal to someone else. You got your meal, exactly as you want to.
Otherwise is like me going to a restaurant and complain that despite my food being excellent, I was upset that the waiter had the audacity to serve someone else the same meal. It was meant only for me, because I am special, and only I get that meal.
Sidenote, don’t know if you mean anything by the insistent use of ‘she’ so just to clarify, I’m bi, my hypothetical partner could just as easily be a dude or non binary or anything else really
You associate the meal to her, if she does something without you, it inherently changes the meal. and now you dont like the new meal.
I associate the meal to the relationship. you get your meals, and her having a snack somewhere else will in no way change the meals that you get with her. And being upset about it is like complaining that your meal in a restaurant is bad because other people also ordered the same.
If the only consequences of cheating is your emotions and the damages comes from your reaction (don’t necessarily mean violent, I mean like breaking up) then the act itself might not be the bad thing but the way you react.
Life is too short to deny ourself relationships that bring us joy, and how cruel is to expect that from anyone, especially not those whom we love.
I disagree. I want my partner to respect my feelings, and to care about not hurting my feelings. I want that because i do the same, respect their feelings and care about not hurting theirs
To me, it is cruel to not care about the feelings of other people. I guess we differ on that
I don’t agree with your twist of my analogy. I expect you to be honest about a meal you serve to me if you know i care about its contents, just as i expect that you are honest about any other thing you know i find important. IMO thats the core of respect, and respect in a relationship is a huge thing for me.
So it might seem inherently irrational to you, i just dont get why that matters at all. Again, in my view, how the person i care about, feel about a particular thing that’s important to them, supersedes how i personally feel about it, because i care about - and respect - the PERSON, not the thing in question.
But meal wise, she did not serve you anything wrong. all that she did is that she served another meal to someone else. You got your meal, exactly as you want to.
Otherwise is like me going to a restaurant and complain that despite my food being excellent, I was upset that the waiter had the audacity to serve someone else the same meal. It was meant only for me, because I am special, and only I get that meal.
I don’t get what you’re trying to say
Sidenote, don’t know if you mean anything by the insistent use of ‘she’ so just to clarify, I’m bi, my hypothetical partner could just as easily be a dude or non binary or anything else really
You associate the meal to her, if she does something without you, it inherently changes the meal. and now you dont like the new meal.
I associate the meal to the relationship. you get your meals, and her having a snack somewhere else will in no way change the meals that you get with her. And being upset about it is like complaining that your meal in a restaurant is bad because other people also ordered the same.
I’m getting lost in the food analogy sorry, would you be willing to try and explain in a different manner?
Not sure how to continue.
If the only consequences of cheating is your emotions and the damages comes from your reaction (don’t necessarily mean violent, I mean like breaking up) then the act itself might not be the bad thing but the way you react.
Life is too short to deny ourself relationships that bring us joy, and how cruel is to expect that from anyone, especially not those whom we love.
I disagree. I want my partner to respect my feelings, and to care about not hurting my feelings. I want that because i do the same, respect their feelings and care about not hurting theirs
To me, it is cruel to not care about the feelings of other people. I guess we differ on that