- cross-posted to:
- programmer_humor@programming.dev
- cross-posted to:
- programmer_humor@programming.dev
How do they have reams of data on every American? I’m not following.
If you bought a coffee pot requiring network access and give it unrestricted internet then you deserved to become a government pawn
what exactly is the concern with China knowing when I make my coffee or use my laundry machine? It’s not like they’re interested in stealing my identity or scamming me out of my savings. Outside of the generally icky-ness of having your data stolen, what’s the endgame?
Silly Answer: American morning rituals are sacred. They are to be hidden from our enemies.
Actual Answer:
Small Data sources compiled over time with rough geographic approximation (or direct geographic information such as GPS sensors on phones) as well as likely consumer information can actually form a complete or near complete profile on the habits and locations of individuals, groups, and companies, including military targets. As an example, if we assume all Chinese companies are secretly government controlled (they’re not.) extensions of their spy agency then, for example, a useful profile might include:
Time the alarm clock went off + time water heater gets activated + time coffee maker is set to make coffee + time refrigerator is opened and closed + time recorded by alarm system + video from doorbell cam = Accurate morning routine, including when the house will be empty, when it will be occupied but not actively monitored (during a morning shower), if and when the person might be gone for a run and how long
If you need to target say, a general who you believe has classified information in his home office, then it would be amazing to know all of this. It’d also be easier to just bribe the maid to get what you want (which is how 99% of ‘spying’ operations actually work.)
If you extend that to all things that might form some amount of data on their use, you could get a total profile of everything someone does in a day in their home… or office… or possibly military base.
Now is this is a risk? Yes.
Is this a likely risk? No. Not even a little. Again bribing a maid or maintenance technician is cheaper, easier, and way, way less risky.
Then why do so many
Chineseappliances send this information to unknown and scary ip addresses?Because data is valuable to advertisers, and theoretically it’s valuable to engineers to know how their product is being used. This combined with executives’ push for everything to have an app, because data is valuable and because it makes the product seem ‘modern,’ fully offers a simple explanation on how and why we find ourselves here. But sinophobia in the Amerisraeli Empire is the only way the Epstein class actually maintains any control – if there is an enemy who they accuse of doing even worse, the subjects of the empire let them do anything they way.
I’ve got a french press. Is it spying on me for china or France. At this point I don’t care which one.
They flipped my mom!?

Guess I’ll have to keep making coffee the old way
I doubt it.

Dude when I tell people I only do pour over coffee people are always like “you know you can get a coffee maker for 20 bucks”
I just prefer how little space these things take up. Plus I rarely drink more than 2-3 cups a day.
My moka pot ain’t talkin’ to no one.
It only sings a sweet burbling song of coffee to me each morning. And afternoon.
If it’s burbling, you fucked up.
I’d recommend one that’s not plastic. (Though I have that same one and use it occasionally.)
I have a stainless steel one but yeah pour-over gang reporting
Seriously. I’m not really sure why a coffee maker needs to have any technology. My electric kettle is about the highest tech thing in the whole process.
There’s tech, and then there’s electronic tech. I’m sure the filter paper is waaaaay more high tech than the kettle. Seriously, check out the engineering that goes into filter mediums, it’s insane.
The steam from the water powers a micro rotor and the coffee acts as an antenna, duh
Water boils. Evaporates to steam. Turbine goes brrrrr.
Hey, that’s a haiku
All jokes aside, IoT devices suck.
Why does a dishwasher need to connect to a remote server to use its full functionality? Why does my coffee maker need me to start it using an app? At that point it isn’t a feature, it’s a dependency that the company behind will eventually shut down one way or another.
Nothing IoT is allowed in my house if it can’t be fully managed locally with Home Assistant.
Frankly you shouldn’t stop with just IoT devices. My sister wouldn’t listen to the HA so she’s not allowed over. It was a bit of a fight in the family but the dog listens so it got to stay and I think that’s totally reasonable.
Damn, which integration did you use for the dog?
Ii use esphome to flash the firmware on his shockcollar. Now when he barks the shock collar on my sister goes off and she gets him a treat.
HA?
Home Assistant
Kinda relevant here

Eyes his french press suspiciously
Bon jour!
Mine said “On ne passe pas!”, so I knew it was one of the good ones.
Wait until you find out what they’re doing to you through your toilet seat!
I don’t actually mind that. I kinda like that. (secretly)
Maybe it’s finally time we start kink-shaming some people.
I also like being kink shamed. (Not a secret)
Shoots coffee maker Americanly. Shoots toaster too, just to be sure.
Do toasters die? I’ve been using the oven whenever I needed toast do to counter space but like the design of a toaster makes me feel like if you shot a hole through a toaster you might just get a toaster that heats most of the bread, and you just have a circle where it doesnt toast. I guess it depends where you shoot it maybe.
I think if you broke the element it wouldn’t work anymore. I honestly just added the toaster because I thought it was funny. I don’t even have one anymore. I have a Ninja Flip multi function toaster oven. Lol.
I refuse to have any “smart” appliances at all
I’m fairly certain I don’t have any smart appliances. Like I’m not sure what I’d even want them to do. Which probably makes me the dumbest appliance in the house. I can’t keep a schedule to save my life, so it’s not like I could schedule a coffee pot, and I dont really care for coffee. Maybe a tea pot but like why… Id probably rather just have it cold at that point. Hot beverages are a pain to drink because I’m afraid of burning myself over and over which I’ve done hundreds of times, so I wait for it to be like luke warm and then it really just defeated the purpose.
I had one fail because my brother didn’t know about the release button to it became a fire hazard
If the have “reams” of data on me, good luck reading through it all.
[This is a sarcastically humourous take on the fact that the word “reams” is used, which is a measure of blocks of 500 pieces of paper.]
I think they meant what they said. They could view it all on a computer screen but if they were to print it out it would probably be thousands of pages worth of data on each person.
yeah i was also surprised they printed it.
I like to imagine the guy who pitched spying on Americans through their coffee makers like “we need to figure out how much coffee Americans are drinking” and everyone in the room was just fully on board with this genius idea.
I was gifted a thermal insulated coffee mug with built-in battery to keep hot. Connects to phone via Bluetooth. Got warnings that the mug would be able to track all 50+ Bluetooth MAC IDs that are in range (I’m in an apt building). That mug will never get turned on or used
Imagine being afraid of a Bluetooth device behaving like every other Bluetooth device ever created.
Except that it sounds like this hooked into an app and sent all the info about those Bluetooth devices to the manufacturer, which some data collectors can use process of elimination to isolate you. Normal (privacy-respecting) Bluetooth devices do not pass this info to the service provider and only your phone uses it to pair with the device.
Sounds more like the app presented a standard request for location access, which is required for scanning nearby devices to be able to find and pair the mug with an app.
E: For the paranoid:
https://developer.android.com/develop/connectivity/bluetooth/bt-permissions
You are correct that this is normal for the OS. The OS will use this data to determine your location. What is not normal is abusing the Bluetooth permission to send a list of scanned devices to app vendor. They should only be collecting the location, not the raw Bluetooth list. I don’t know what the app is to confirm, but the way they said it, they would be handing all of the local device data along with the standard location permission. This is the extra data that can be used to isolate you more than just a location could.
This is similar to browser fingerprinting, but worse because your phone goes with you everywhere.
One final mention is that the app is likely not collecting that list once, but rather regularly, so they could build a profile on what devices you’re in range of and by extension where you are regularly, even if you chose to disable your location, since they’re using Bluetooth MAC addresses as their workaround.
No one, not even OP, said anything about the info being sent to the vendor. You’re arguing about a point that you pulled completely out of the aether and which has no bearing on anything in this thread.
AKA, a straw man
As @Grostleton@lemmy.dbzer0.com said, that’s how every Bluetooth device works, but I’m also curious what purpose connecting a mug to a phone via Bluetooth serves.
It’s to monitor battery life and adjust temperature, you can usually do both via physical interaction with the warmer, but they offer an app that may display more info or allow more precise control over the temp. Usually the app is completely optional.
No idea, maybe that’s where you see the battery level? I like to imagine the coffee mugs are just chatting amongst themselves.
“Ugh Peggy with her fucking black coffee again, we make it through 15 minutes of work and we’ll be back in here so we can refill … Same shit every morning”.
“You’re telling me, Clyde’s been milking his coffee break for 45 minutes now, I doubt he even remembers telling Terry we were going to send him that paperwork”
Are you sure they weren’t MUG IDs?











