You should also know that if you are trying to apply this to real life, that you should probably go to therapy instead. Most people are reasonably honest and reasonably kind, and the best way to read people’s minds is to just ask what they are thinking.
Edit for additional context:
These sorts of “psycological FYIs” are frequently posted around and upvoted for the same reason that the news leads every hour with murders and car crashes - because bad news catches attention, and you get a little dopamine hit when you hear it because your brain believes that by hearing about danger, it is now safer from danger. So we get all sorts of posts about what deceivers, or abusers, or narcissists, or whatever, do.
And these posts are particularly enticing to lemmy’s demographic - terminally online, socially anxious autists who naturally have a hard time reading people. These sorts of posts come with an implicit promise - learn these tips, and you’ll finally be safe from people, like the ones who bullied you in middle school.
But take a step back and consider the actual implementation of this advice. Literally all it is saying is “people who smile are untrustworthy”. Which is quite possibly the worst advice if your goal is to successfully navigate the social landscape. This advice comes with far, far more noise than signal, because most people who are smiling most of the time are smiling simply because they are happy. These are the people you want to be around, because happy people are typically more open to meeting new people, being good friends, helping people in need, giving out useful advice, or having fun. This advice literally repels you from the people you should seek out the most.
And it is the same with all of these sorts of advice. People who cross their arms or turn slightly to the side or make poor eye contact or make excellent eye contact or whatever the fuck - people just do this shit all the time for ten million different reasons, with the least likely one being that they plan to rip you off selling you a used car or murder you in their basement. But what happens if you go out in the world looking for all these signals? Well then you will constantly be in your head, slow to speak, eyes darting around, fear and distrust written all over your face. And these are the things that will make the good, honest people around you look at you and get an uneasy feeling - not a thought, just a feeling. But enough of a feeling that they won’t extend an invite to their back yard bbq next weekend. The person who will reach out to you with open arms, though? The con man. Because he can see it written all over your face: “I am an easy target”.
Is Donald Trump a con man? Yes. But you already knew that. You didn’t need some galaxy-brain psychoanalysis to realize that they guy who sells mail order steaks and runs shitty casinos is a shit bag, even before he became president. But Donald Trump doesn’t live in your real life. He is not waiting on the street corner trying to sell you a corporate chain gym membership. Most people in your real life are not like Donald Trump - they are honest, kind, good hearted people that maybe don’t have time for your bullshit right now, but who are happy to help if it isn’t too much of an inconvenience to them. Most people who are like Donald Trump in real life tend to be easy to identify, in the same way Donald Trump is easy to identify. They aren’t subtle. They aren’t devious. Their game isn’t to con everyone - it is to con the dumbest motherfucker in the room. It is obvious to literally everyone else, which is why this guy is usually sitting alone at the bar talking to the bartender - the only people willing to talk to this guy are the people who are getting paid to.
So stop looking for all these devious evil masterminds out to fleece you for every penny and then fuck you in the ass. They mostly don’t exist, and the main way to attract them is to look like you have a history of social isolation. Just show up, meet people, get to know them, and assume the best. There is no way to completely protect yourself from bad people in the world - that’s just life. But constantly worrying about every single person you meet all the time puts you in a cage without any Buffalo Bill copycat having to lift a finger.
Then why did you post it in You Should Know, or mention some junk pop psy garbage? If you wanted to hate on Trump, just make a shitpost in the shitpost sub with the title “I hate this guy”.
I’m sorry - are you asking me when I last met Donald Trump because you think that “real life” means only the people I personally come into contact with, and not, you know, things that really happen in the world?
1993, unfortunately. He smelled weird and had a toupee then too. I didn’t know who he was as I was 12 or 13 at the time, and as far as I was concerned this fat man was blocking my way to get to my school. What he was doing outside of Manhattan, I’ve no clue.
The thing with donald trump is that he WILL tell you just what kind of a person he is… and people will think he’s lying.
NGL, my first thought for the TV President is that this is just another staged event to rally support around him so as to bolster his sagging ratings… because ultimately it’s only about how liked he is.
It helps. Every little thing about that pedophile should be analyzed and exposed.
The more evidence the better.
Most of the world already knew what he was way back before he was even elected for the first time. But seemingly it was not enough for most of the Americans.
A picture of Trump smiling isn’t evidence of anything. This might be the way he smiles when he shits himself. And if you want evidence that he is a con man, its not like you have to try very hard. This picture ain’t gonna sway a 3 time Trump supporter, lol. Just admit that you’re having an anti-Trump circlejerk, and I’ll lend you my hand. But acting like you’re outing him using pop psychology you heard about from your moms Readers Digest is top-tier smoothbrain. Gonna analyze his zodiac sign next?
Most people are reasonably honest and reasonably kind.
I don’t disagree, but I stopped reading after that because this isn’t about “most people”, it’s about deceitful people and about trump. You wasted your time typing all of that irrelevant stuff for this post.
Unless you genuinely believe Trump is honest and kind.
You either agree with the post or you don’t. And you don’t and I don’t have time to waste reading about “normal people”. I know them well enough myself, thanks.
Trump is not even human. I struggle to even type “kind” and “trump” in the same sentence. And you wrote a whole blog post about “bUt aKShuAlLy”
I think in the first instance it was the overly verbose answer to a social media post. That suggests you either have a bit of time on your hands or you have very few people to talk to.
Secondly, the hints of grandeur in your comment. Calling out Lemmy users as autists. Weird to do that on this platform, of which you are also on.
But mostly, it’s that you’ve misread the social contract here, and that’s wild as you go on to tell people how to read the situation.
And so my question was genuine. Are you ok, or is there something going on that you need to talk about?
You should also know that if you are trying to apply this to real life, that you should probably go to therapy instead. Most people are reasonably honest and reasonably kind, and the best way to read people’s minds is to just ask what they are thinking.
Edit for additional context:
These sorts of “psycological FYIs” are frequently posted around and upvoted for the same reason that the news leads every hour with murders and car crashes - because bad news catches attention, and you get a little dopamine hit when you hear it because your brain believes that by hearing about danger, it is now safer from danger. So we get all sorts of posts about what deceivers, or abusers, or narcissists, or whatever, do.
And these posts are particularly enticing to lemmy’s demographic - terminally online, socially anxious autists who naturally have a hard time reading people. These sorts of posts come with an implicit promise - learn these tips, and you’ll finally be safe from people, like the ones who bullied you in middle school.
But take a step back and consider the actual implementation of this advice. Literally all it is saying is “people who smile are untrustworthy”. Which is quite possibly the worst advice if your goal is to successfully navigate the social landscape. This advice comes with far, far more noise than signal, because most people who are smiling most of the time are smiling simply because they are happy. These are the people you want to be around, because happy people are typically more open to meeting new people, being good friends, helping people in need, giving out useful advice, or having fun. This advice literally repels you from the people you should seek out the most.
And it is the same with all of these sorts of advice. People who cross their arms or turn slightly to the side or make poor eye contact or make excellent eye contact or whatever the fuck - people just do this shit all the time for ten million different reasons, with the least likely one being that they plan to rip you off selling you a used car or murder you in their basement. But what happens if you go out in the world looking for all these signals? Well then you will constantly be in your head, slow to speak, eyes darting around, fear and distrust written all over your face. And these are the things that will make the good, honest people around you look at you and get an uneasy feeling - not a thought, just a feeling. But enough of a feeling that they won’t extend an invite to their back yard bbq next weekend. The person who will reach out to you with open arms, though? The con man. Because he can see it written all over your face: “I am an easy target”.
Is Donald Trump a con man? Yes. But you already knew that. You didn’t need some galaxy-brain psychoanalysis to realize that they guy who sells mail order steaks and runs shitty casinos is a shit bag, even before he became president. But Donald Trump doesn’t live in your real life. He is not waiting on the street corner trying to sell you a corporate chain gym membership. Most people in your real life are not like Donald Trump - they are honest, kind, good hearted people that maybe don’t have time for your bullshit right now, but who are happy to help if it isn’t too much of an inconvenience to them. Most people who are like Donald Trump in real life tend to be easy to identify, in the same way Donald Trump is easy to identify. They aren’t subtle. They aren’t devious. Their game isn’t to con everyone - it is to con the dumbest motherfucker in the room. It is obvious to literally everyone else, which is why this guy is usually sitting alone at the bar talking to the bartender - the only people willing to talk to this guy are the people who are getting paid to.
So stop looking for all these devious evil masterminds out to fleece you for every penny and then fuck you in the ass. They mostly don’t exist, and the main way to attract them is to look like you have a history of social isolation. Just show up, meet people, get to know them, and assume the best. There is no way to completely protect yourself from bad people in the world - that’s just life. But constantly worrying about every single person you meet all the time puts you in a cage without any Buffalo Bill copycat having to lift a finger.
Good post. Well… good edit, because that first paragraph makes no sense. But I agree with the other six!
You’re reading way too much into this post
It’s just about trump being an asshole really.
Then why did you post it in You Should Know, or mention some junk pop psy garbage? If you wanted to hate on Trump, just make a shitpost in the shitpost sub with the title “I hate this guy”.
Why you gotta tell me what to do?
I really hope you’re not lumping Trump in with that whole “most people being reasonably honest and kind” bit. Because, oof.
I’m not. But when was the last time you met Donald Trump in real life?
… What?
I’m sorry - are you asking me when I last met Donald Trump because you think that “real life” means only the people I personally come into contact with, and not, you know, things that really happen in the world?
Don’t worry too much, you’re all just the fun little people that live in my phone, even Donald Trump is in there!
Maybe if I shake my phone a bit you’ll fall into the same memory address as him? Worth a shot
See my edit
1993, unfortunately. He smelled weird and had a toupee then too. I didn’t know who he was as I was 12 or 13 at the time, and as far as I was concerned this fat man was blocking my way to get to my school. What he was doing outside of Manhattan, I’ve no clue.
I’m sorry for your misfortune
The thing with donald trump is that he WILL tell you just what kind of a person he is… and people will think he’s lying.
NGL, my first thought for the TV President is that this is just another staged event to rally support around him so as to bolster his sagging ratings… because ultimately it’s only about how liked he is.
He’s Mr. Popularity after all.
Kind of my point. You don’t need “this one weird trick” to know he’s a shitbag.
It helps. Every little thing about that pedophile should be analyzed and exposed.
The more evidence the better.
Most of the world already knew what he was way back before he was even elected for the first time. But seemingly it was not enough for most of the Americans.
A picture of Trump smiling isn’t evidence of anything. This might be the way he smiles when he shits himself. And if you want evidence that he is a con man, its not like you have to try very hard. This picture ain’t gonna sway a 3 time Trump supporter, lol. Just admit that you’re having an anti-Trump circlejerk, and I’ll lend you my hand. But acting like you’re outing him using pop psychology you heard about from your moms Readers Digest is top-tier smoothbrain. Gonna analyze his zodiac sign next?
I don’t disagree, but I stopped reading after that because this isn’t about “most people”, it’s about deceitful people and about trump. You wasted your time typing all of that irrelevant stuff for this post.
Unless you genuinely believe Trump is honest and kind.
Kind of a weird take, considering that the rest of my post was specifically written to address that concern
You either agree with the post or you don’t. And you don’t and I don’t have time to waste reading about “normal people”. I know them well enough myself, thanks.
Trump is not even human. I struggle to even type “kind” and “trump” in the same sentence. And you wrote a whole blog post about “bUt aKShuAlLy”
Yeah, I don’t agree that “you should know” (the sub we’re in and the title of this post) about “duper’s delight” (a useless pop psych concept).
You ok, mate?
Why would you think I’m not?
Good question.
I think in the first instance it was the overly verbose answer to a social media post. That suggests you either have a bit of time on your hands or you have very few people to talk to.
Secondly, the hints of grandeur in your comment. Calling out Lemmy users as autists. Weird to do that on this platform, of which you are also on.
But mostly, it’s that you’ve misread the social contract here, and that’s wild as you go on to tell people how to read the situation.
And so my question was genuine. Are you ok, or is there something going on that you need to talk about?
How dare you!
I mean, you’re not wrong but you don’t have to throw it in our faces. lol
Truth hurts, doesn’t it? But we’re in it together