A progressive Republican following in the path of the likes of Abraham Lincoln, Ulysses S. Grant, Susan B. Anthony, Fredrick Douglas, Booker T. Washington, Harriet Tubman and many other great Republicans. His policies are rooted in the ideologies of equality, sexual purity, love, compassion and many other cool things. He is dedicated to making Oregon a crime-free, poverty-free state, where every man and woman can find true love, get married and have kids. He desires to make Oregon a leader in innovation and will work to implement all the latest and greatest technologies. He is single, ready to mingle, and looking for a good woman who is ideally a virgin. Martin’s campaign slogans are, “thy will be done in Oregon, as it is in heaven”, and “the man, with the plan”.

What more need be said?