Title text:
Please, we need your help. Our research suggests you’re the last living descendant of the person who knew how to format this config file.
Transcript:
Transcript will show once it’s been added to explainxkcd.com
Source: https://xkcd.com/3245/


5 years ago - None, you have a faulty device and the hardware manufacturers are aware of the problem and will never fix it unless you start a class-action lawsuit with low chance of success.
In this situation right now. Bought a last gen Fitbit smartwatch on discount and it has fucking idiotic software bug where if you have the device in Do Not Disturb when the automatic sleep mode schedule triggers, it softlocks itself and you can’t manually disable either DND or sleep mode until the automatic sleep mode schedule expires. Unfixed since 2023.
The retailer denied my refund because I opened the package, so currently I’m waiting for the replacement device Google’s rep insisted on sending my way. As soon as it’s here I’m going to confirm that the bug still happens on it and RMA it again. What a waste of everyone’s fucking time.
Never, ever, buy a device that doesn’t have third-party Free Software firmware available.