I feel like there’s no human relationship that doesn’t experience strain and parental ones can be tough.
Even though my parents are wonderful people we still have our stresses, mistakes, a few scars, and our differences. They will never know I’m bisexual, they will never know I’ve done weed let alone hard(er) drugs, they don’t share my sense of humor - so we’re not “friends” - but we do love each other.
my folks my entire life thought I was gay. even though I had girlfriends my entire adult life… they just had such a stupidly narrow definition of straightness that things like reading books and liking school made them ‘suspicious’. my siblings, friends, and even gay friends, my entire life never ever once accused me of being gay or anything other than perfectly straight.
and i still meet so called ‘progressive’, adult women, who think this way to this day… esp because i cook and clean. because in their mind, no ‘really straight’ man can do these things… actually some of did they ‘well if you aren’t gay, you must be bi’.
some folks are just so weirdly obsessed with gender stereotypes in their head, and just totally reject anyone who doesn’t conform to them.
They are afraid of how it would ‘reflect’ on them. That’s why they are so paranoid about it.
They are afraid of the shame and judgment of other people knowing their child is a sexual deviant.
I dunno, it don’t think most folks are different. I have hung out with plenty of self-identified queer/sexual open people… who also viciously judge other people for what they perceive as non-conformity to their own sexual expectations. Like, queer couples who live in fear their child will be ‘a straight’ or see being ‘cis’ as a negative thing. Folks just want you to be what they want you to be, and they are mad when you are not.
People generally just feel the need to police other’s sexual behaviors and gender identity, and a lot of people have hypocritical double standards around it.
I feel like there’s no human relationship that doesn’t experience strain and parental ones can be tough.
Even though my parents are wonderful people we still have our stresses, mistakes, a few scars, and our differences. They will never know I’m bisexual, they will never know I’ve done weed let alone hard(er) drugs, they don’t share my sense of humor - so we’re not “friends” - but we do love each other.
my folks my entire life thought I was gay. even though I had girlfriends my entire adult life… they just had such a stupidly narrow definition of straightness that things like reading books and liking school made them ‘suspicious’. my siblings, friends, and even gay friends, my entire life never ever once accused me of being gay or anything other than perfectly straight.
and i still meet so called ‘progressive’, adult women, who think this way to this day… esp because i cook and clean. because in their mind, no ‘really straight’ man can do these things… actually some of did they ‘well if you aren’t gay, you must be bi’.
some folks are just so weirdly obsessed with gender stereotypes in their head, and just totally reject anyone who doesn’t conform to them.
Have experienced similar. People love to speculate on this shit, for some reason. Ain’t they own sex lives interesting enough?!
They are afraid of how it would ‘reflect’ on them. That’s why they are so paranoid about it.
They are afraid of the shame and judgment of other people knowing their child is a sexual deviant.
I dunno, it don’t think most folks are different. I have hung out with plenty of self-identified queer/sexual open people… who also viciously judge other people for what they perceive as non-conformity to their own sexual expectations. Like, queer couples who live in fear their child will be ‘a straight’ or see being ‘cis’ as a negative thing. Folks just want you to be what they want you to be, and they are mad when you are not.
People generally just feel the need to police other’s sexual behaviors and gender identity, and a lot of people have hypocritical double standards around it.