I think that’s a huge part of it. I don’t see the end results being all that worthwhile anymore. For a while I was told learning Japanese will get me nowhere, and it was my focal language, so that really shot my nerves. Next to that, I don’t really find myself being anyway competent at the languages so it’s just struggling uphill constantly with no payoff. At least not yet.

Feels like the better part of 2 years down the drain at the moment if I end up do giving up. Effort levels for attempting studies is very high so I want to engage slowly and not force myself to over indulge to keep up with full force studying. Honestly I just feel like I’m in a slump and when I see things right again, I’ll be rearing to go again. No idea what’s caused the downfall though. I know I’m near homelessness, but that’s just about it for me. I really shouldn’t be all too far gone. There still should be hope, and yet I just feel like I’m wasting away. Don’t mean to emotionally dump/vent, but studying is just so hard to do right now with regards to my languages. I used to always enjoy it. Something is off, and I’m not sure what.