What about the dad that abandoned their kids but then reappears to ask for help now that their kids have reached success as a physician or other professional peak?
It’s always some bullshit excuse - “they’re going to cut off my electricity” “I need help paying for food” “I got kicked off Medicaid buy haven’t bothered to try to reapply” “I got heart surgery but still don’t plan to stop smoking”
There’s the human appeal of not wanting to see your father suffer. Knowing what it’s like to be poor. Every ~2 months it’s the same phonecall… Hey, can I get $3-500 just to get me through this month?
I wouldn’t give a stranger a bunch if money, why would I give someone who abandoned me money. They’re basically a stranger and just using the father/family angle to manipulate who they can into giving them money.
That one is really hard. You aren’t wrong if you say no, change your number, connect them with services, ignore, etc. But you have a heart so it still feels bad. So dad extra sucks for this.
Am I a bad person for wanting to see my father suffer? He’s an asshole, my three younger siblings and myself unfortunately have to live with him as my mom cannot find her own home (she’s staying with her dad). He’s inducing depression in even the youngest here (11 y/o). It’s infuriating.
You are not a bad person. It is in fact quite common to wish gor the bad parent to suffer. I know it is hard to take this step, there is a lot of red tape, fear and shame, but have you considered talking with Child Protective Services about the situation?
I’ve had a couple of years of therapy, and am waiting for some other orgs to make contact with me after an intake I had yesterday. But that’s mostly for myself, anything related to my siblings I think I cannot easily initiate.
You are taking care of yourself, that’s good! I also think I unintentinally placed way to much responsibility on you in my previous comment. I didn’t expect it to read as you having to take care of your siblings wellbeing or didn’t realize how hard this is. This is a put your own oxygen mask on before helping others situation. It sucks but it’s the right thing. Hope the orgs call back soon and can help you through this.
Legally, I’m an adult (21 y/o), so CPS wouldn’t apply to me. That’s why I assumed you were talking about my siblings 😅 but you had no way of knowing my age
For what it’s worth, if you’re his only child, he left before you were born, and never had another relationship after, there’s a very good chance he’s not a motherfucker. An asshole, yes, but not a motherfucker.
I’m proud to be a motherfucker, shows I stuck around after the baby was born (though that should be baseline).
What about the dad that abandoned their kids but then reappears to ask for help now that their kids have reached success as a physician or other professional peak?
It’s always some bullshit excuse - “they’re going to cut off my electricity” “I need help paying for food” “I got kicked off Medicaid buy haven’t bothered to try to reapply” “I got heart surgery but still don’t plan to stop smoking”
There’s the human appeal of not wanting to see your father suffer. Knowing what it’s like to be poor. Every ~2 months it’s the same phonecall… Hey, can I get $3-500 just to get me through this month?
Where were you for 25+ years mother fucker.
I wouldn’t give a stranger a bunch if money, why would I give someone who abandoned me money. They’re basically a stranger and just using the father/family angle to manipulate who they can into giving them money.
That one is really hard. You aren’t wrong if you say no, change your number, connect them with services, ignore, etc. But you have a heart so it still feels bad. So dad extra sucks for this.
Am I a bad person for wanting to see my father suffer? He’s an asshole, my three younger siblings and myself unfortunately have to live with him as my mom cannot find her own home (she’s staying with her dad). He’s inducing depression in even the youngest here (11 y/o). It’s infuriating.
You are not a bad person. It is in fact quite common to wish gor the bad parent to suffer. I know it is hard to take this step, there is a lot of red tape, fear and shame, but have you considered talking with Child Protective Services about the situation?
I’ve had a couple of years of therapy, and am waiting for some other orgs to make contact with me after an intake I had yesterday. But that’s mostly for myself, anything related to my siblings I think I cannot easily initiate.
You are taking care of yourself, that’s good! I also think I unintentinally placed way to much responsibility on you in my previous comment. I didn’t expect it to read as you having to take care of your siblings wellbeing or didn’t realize how hard this is. This is a put your own oxygen mask on before helping others situation. It sucks but it’s the right thing. Hope the orgs call back soon and can help you through this.
Legally, I’m an adult (21 y/o), so CPS wouldn’t apply to me. That’s why I assumed you were talking about my siblings 😅 but you had no way of knowing my age
For what it’s worth, if you’re his only child, he left before you were born, and never had another relationship after, there’s a very good chance he’s not a motherfucker. An asshole, yes, but not a motherfucker.
I’m proud to be a motherfucker, shows I stuck around after the baby was born (though that should be baseline).
That one is realistic though, the one in OP is just giving them redemption without making any effort to repair the damage or grow as a person.