This is something I’ve noticed a lot among well-intentioned people who aren’t trans themselves. When talking about a trans person, especially in the context of talking about them before and after transitioning, they’ll use they/them instead of she/her or he/him, as the trans person in question goes by.
It always kind of rubs me the wrong way, because like, unless they want to go by they/them, it’s still misgendering, right?
But I also always kinda feel awkward correcting the speaker on someone else’s behalf, because maybe they do go by she/they or they/he, and I just don’t know. But it feels way more common that it’s someone who doesn’t feel comfortable using she/her for a trans woman, for example.
I don’t know. Am I overthinking this? How do y’all handle situations like that?
When it’s about someone else: “Oh, is [trans person] nonbinary? I thought [trans person] used she/he.”
When it’s about myself: “Using ‘she’ is fine, thank you.”
Both good responses, thank you! I might borrow those
I don’t think one has to be nonbinary to be okay with they/them pronouns. I know binary trans and cis people who use he/they and she/they.
I agree. I just prefer to have something quick and easy to say, rather than qualifying all the possible scenarios with my clarifying question.
This also leaves room for, “oh no, [person] isn’t nonbinary, but they use he/they.”