This is something I’ve noticed a lot among well-intentioned people who aren’t trans themselves. When talking about a trans person, especially in the context of talking about them before and after transitioning, they’ll use they/them instead of she/her or he/him, as the trans person in question goes by.
It always kind of rubs me the wrong way, because like, unless they want to go by they/them, it’s still misgendering, right?
But I also always kinda feel awkward correcting the speaker on someone else’s behalf, because maybe they do go by she/they or they/he, and I just don’t know. But it feels way more common that it’s someone who doesn’t feel comfortable using she/her for a trans woman, for example.
I don’t know. Am I overthinking this? How do y’all handle situations like that?
if someone says they/them when first getting to know me, its chill. i dont pass amazing cus of my voice but I’ll make sure they know I am she/her
if they know this and still say they/them I’ll bring it up and mention ‘I’m not non binary, refer to me as you would any other woman’ and itll either make sense to them or I’ll consider ending that relationship