I’m not really sure what your problem with me is, but I bet I’ve been married longer than you have, and it’s 100% okay to frustrate each other sometimes and then laugh about it later. It’s also okay to admit you can’t perfectly relate to something your partner experiences, and it is going to happen unless you somehow managed to marry yourself.
My best guess is that I remind you of someone who wasn’t patient with you in a really devastating way, causing all of this projection, and I’m genuinely sorry that happened to you. But you don’t actually know me, and you couldn’t possibly know what I’m like based on a couple of silly comments online.
What happens is when people get told they’re weird because of the way they are, it hurts. Yeah that’s happened to me many times and it sucks a lot. Fortunately my current partner is pretty understanding.
You come off as not understanding that you’ve hurt your husband’s feelings and I can relate to that “why can’t you just [insert thing I can’t help]?”. In this thread lots of people are relating to that kinda thing so it was kinda jarring to see the opposite.
My husband’s feelings aren’t hurt, though? The person I replied to also didn’t really relate to the meme so it’s not just me. I seem to be the only person catching shit for it, though 😐
Yeah sometimes people with issues get hurt and it goes unnoticed. It’s a struggle for some of us. Anyhow, sorry you think I’m singling you out. I have no reason to do that other than what felt like a very submissive tone. When I tried to explain what it might be like for others, your response felt dismissive again /shrug
I think we were talking about two different things. The person I replied to said they didn’t get the meme, and I said I also struggle to relate to this particular difficulty and shared a funny, silly anecdote about the cute little misunderstandings that arise between someone I love and myself here and there as a result.
Your own experience involves a lot more hurt around the topic, which I didn’t really know about based on your first reply. I didn’t even know you were referencing your own difficulties communicating. You also said,
It’s not like your husband can explain it either
And I was like, no, he sure can’t, that’s the point, he is bad with words, lol! Just continuing to be silly and then you started accusing me of hurting his feelings, when you don’t know either of us which kinda came out of nowhere from my perspective.
I’m sorry I made assumptions and I’m definitely projecting on some level, but at the same time it may be worth considering that someone who freezes up may have some unaired feelings. I say that as someone who occasionally does have that happen (both parts). You’re right I certainly may be totally off base though and I may have read some tone that wasn’t there, which text is notorious for being vulnerable to. Either way I ought to try to make less assumptions and you can take or leave what I’m saying here (and I really don’t mean that in a shitty way, just admitting I may be completely wrong)
I’m not really sure what your problem with me is, but I bet I’ve been married longer than you have, and it’s 100% okay to frustrate each other sometimes and then laugh about it later. It’s also okay to admit you can’t perfectly relate to something your partner experiences, and it is going to happen unless you somehow managed to marry yourself.
My best guess is that I remind you of someone who wasn’t patient with you in a really devastating way, causing all of this projection, and I’m genuinely sorry that happened to you. But you don’t actually know me, and you couldn’t possibly know what I’m like based on a couple of silly comments online.
What happens is when people get told they’re weird because of the way they are, it hurts. Yeah that’s happened to me many times and it sucks a lot. Fortunately my current partner is pretty understanding.
Like I said sorry that happened to you and I hope you’ll have a lot of success in your relationship
You come off as not understanding that you’ve hurt your husband’s feelings and I can relate to that “why can’t you just [insert thing I can’t help]?”. In this thread lots of people are relating to that kinda thing so it was kinda jarring to see the opposite.
My husband’s feelings aren’t hurt, though? The person I replied to also didn’t really relate to the meme so it’s not just me. I seem to be the only person catching shit for it, though 😐
Yeah sometimes people with issues get hurt and it goes unnoticed. It’s a struggle for some of us. Anyhow, sorry you think I’m singling you out. I have no reason to do that other than what felt like a very submissive tone. When I tried to explain what it might be like for others, your response felt dismissive again /shrug
I think we were talking about two different things. The person I replied to said they didn’t get the meme, and I said I also struggle to relate to this particular difficulty and shared a funny, silly anecdote about the cute little misunderstandings that arise between someone I love and myself here and there as a result.
Your own experience involves a lot more hurt around the topic, which I didn’t really know about based on your first reply. I didn’t even know you were referencing your own difficulties communicating. You also said,
And I was like, no, he sure can’t, that’s the point, he is bad with words, lol! Just continuing to be silly and then you started accusing me of hurting his feelings, when you don’t know either of us which kinda came out of nowhere from my perspective.
I’m sorry I made assumptions and I’m definitely projecting on some level, but at the same time it may be worth considering that someone who freezes up may have some unaired feelings. I say that as someone who occasionally does have that happen (both parts). You’re right I certainly may be totally off base though and I may have read some tone that wasn’t there, which text is notorious for being vulnerable to. Either way I ought to try to make less assumptions and you can take or leave what I’m saying here (and I really don’t mean that in a shitty way, just admitting I may be completely wrong)
It’s okay, it happens. I appreciate that you feel protective over people, that’s not such a bad thing!