Honestly a lot of times people doing “well actually…” aren’t acting in good faith, so I don’t blame people for downvoting.
I just find interesting because some of my parents neighbors are like that, but my parents are lesbians, but one of them is quite eggy (not just butch) and they socially treat her as a guy, so the husbands will talk directly with one of my moms but not the other. So I find it a little fascinating how different flavors of sexism try to manage situations outside the norms that were assumed in their making (surprisingly they seem to have no problem with her being a lesbian). Otoh, they’ve had plenty of contractors coming to give bids who just clearly don’t respect either of them because they are women.
A lot of people don’t want to understand anything bad. They want to condemn the people who think bad, and they feel like any kind of understanding results in less condemnation, which is bad!!
I see it as very analogous to the war on drugs. A lot of people think that “drugs are bad mkay” and so any sensible policy like drug harm reduction is bad because it sends the wrong message - even if it doesn’t really increase use of drugs much. Even if understanding (large numbers of) sexists doesn’t result in more sexism, it seems to send the wrong message.
Don’t mistake “this is fucking stupid” for “I don’t get why this person is doing this”.
I completely understand there are men who are so weak willed or bound by Sky Daddy that they can’t handle interactions with women, but that’s not an excuse for the behavior. If I was part of a sect that didn’t allow alcohol, I wouldn’t work where I’d regularly come into contact with it.
If these chucklefucks can’t interact with half of their potential clients, they shouldn’t be doing the work.
That doesn’t explain, on its own, why you would downvote someone explaining some aspect of misogyny. The explanation there is that people don’t want to hear the explanation.
In this case the explanation was quite likely not the explanation of the specific example, and so perhaps that was a factor in the reaction. But if so I’d say that the OP did phrase their comment carefully, saying: “I know for some…” and “so its entirely possible…”. I don’t think that reply would get such a negative reaction if it were just missing the mark in another scenario; I think it’s people not wanting to hear it.
Getting downvoted for explaining lol.
I can’t see downvotes anyways 🤷♀️
Honestly a lot of times people doing “well actually…” aren’t acting in good faith, so I don’t blame people for downvoting.
I just find interesting because some of my parents neighbors are like that, but my parents are lesbians, but one of them is quite eggy (not just butch) and they socially treat her as a guy, so the husbands will talk directly with one of my moms but not the other. So I find it a little fascinating how different flavors of sexism try to manage situations outside the norms that were assumed in their making (surprisingly they seem to have no problem with her being a lesbian). Otoh, they’ve had plenty of contractors coming to give bids who just clearly don’t respect either of them because they are women.
Yeah. There’s a big difference between
and “it’s my strong recommendation that…” People are alarmingly bad at reading.
A lot of people don’t want to understand anything bad. They want to condemn the people who think bad, and they feel like any kind of understanding results in less condemnation, which is bad!!
I see it as very analogous to the war on drugs. A lot of people think that “drugs are bad mkay” and so any sensible policy like drug harm reduction is bad because it sends the wrong message - even if it doesn’t really increase use of drugs much. Even if understanding (large numbers of) sexists doesn’t result in more sexism, it seems to send the wrong message.
Don’t mistake “this is fucking stupid” for “I don’t get why this person is doing this”.
I completely understand there are men who are so weak willed or bound by Sky Daddy that they can’t handle interactions with women, but that’s not an excuse for the behavior. If I was part of a sect that didn’t allow alcohol, I wouldn’t work where I’d regularly come into contact with it.
If these chucklefucks can’t interact with half of their potential clients, they shouldn’t be doing the work.
That doesn’t explain, on its own, why you would downvote someone explaining some aspect of misogyny. The explanation there is that people don’t want to hear the explanation.
In this case the explanation was quite likely not the explanation of the specific example, and so perhaps that was a factor in the reaction. But if so I’d say that the OP did phrase their comment carefully, saying: “I know for some…” and “so its entirely possible…”. I don’t think that reply would get such a negative reaction if it were just missing the mark in another scenario; I think it’s people not wanting to hear it.