I only do it with men because they’re so needy and touch starved that they think touching sweaty feelers is a good time.

Umm, no. We do it because we’re taught to from a young age. It’s considered necessary in certain social situations. I don’t even like them much myself, but I’ve found the older I get I will offer them up because I know that’s called for by the social scenario I’m in

If you feel this strongly about handshakes there are definitely many regions around the globe to avoid. Some places handshake an absurd amount.