Every day? Even back when I could cook that would be a no. Because that’s not a relationship, that’s a job.
I’m fine with being a SAH h/d. Hell, if I were a dad in that situation it would be amazing to have the freedom to be there every day, at least until the teenage years hit and the kid/s would be branching out into the first stages of their own lives. Being a dad that is disabled was better than being a dad that couldn’t be at home because he was a wage slave. So being healthy and having that freedom too? Sign me up.
But the way the meme makes it out, that’s just a job. Might still be a good relationship, but once obligations at that scale start creeping in, relationships can crumble faster than people can patch them up.
That being said, I fucking loved cooking for my people. So I would still do it every chance I got in that situation. Just couldn’t let it be some kind of transactional shit.
A thousand times yes. My (m) partner (nonbinary) was, for years, in a disaster of a relationship where, among other issues, they felt trapped into cooking dinner every night. They had made a deal with their girlfriend that they would cook and she would clean up. She stopped cleaning up consistently. However, my partner is a stubborn person who has trouble ending their own side of a deal even if the other person breaks their part.
I have therefore resolved never, ever to ask them to cook, or even ask questions about what they’re having for dinner, to avoid this becoming a problem in our relationship.
However, they actually love cooking. We’re both autistic, and cooking is one of the things that calms their brain.
They offer me dinner almost every night. I’m eating good, nutritious food most of the time now. I’m losing weight (which I need to do).
I do offer to cook or order delivery if they are particularly exhausted, and I have made it quite clear that I’m happy to be asked to do so, since I never had that problem.
It’s working great. If our relationship goes bad, at least it won’t be for that reason. Doing well so far, almost a year in.
Every day? Even back when I could cook that would be a no. Because that’s not a relationship, that’s a job.
I’m fine with being a SAH h/d. Hell, if I were a dad in that situation it would be amazing to have the freedom to be there every day, at least until the teenage years hit and the kid/s would be branching out into the first stages of their own lives. Being a dad that is disabled was better than being a dad that couldn’t be at home because he was a wage slave. So being healthy and having that freedom too? Sign me up.
But the way the meme makes it out, that’s just a job. Might still be a good relationship, but once obligations at that scale start creeping in, relationships can crumble faster than people can patch them up.
That being said, I fucking loved cooking for my people. So I would still do it every chance I got in that situation. Just couldn’t let it be some kind of transactional shit.
A thousand times yes. My (m) partner (nonbinary) was, for years, in a disaster of a relationship where, among other issues, they felt trapped into cooking dinner every night. They had made a deal with their girlfriend that they would cook and she would clean up. She stopped cleaning up consistently. However, my partner is a stubborn person who has trouble ending their own side of a deal even if the other person breaks their part.
I have therefore resolved never, ever to ask them to cook, or even ask questions about what they’re having for dinner, to avoid this becoming a problem in our relationship.
However, they actually love cooking. We’re both autistic, and cooking is one of the things that calms their brain.
They offer me dinner almost every night. I’m eating good, nutritious food most of the time now. I’m losing weight (which I need to do).
I do offer to cook or order delivery if they are particularly exhausted, and I have made it quite clear that I’m happy to be asked to do so, since I never had that problem.
It’s working great. If our relationship goes bad, at least it won’t be for that reason. Doing well so far, almost a year in.