For chronological accuracy, I have been using the old name and gender when referring to a past, pre-transition person, and the new name and gender when referring to them generally.
But I had a realisation that this could be considered rude. I’d like to hear from some trans people on their opinion.
How they prefer to be addressed. My nephew says I can call him either name or whichever pronouns because I knew him before. Haven’t slipped yet! I thought I’d find it more difficult to even think of him as a boy. But it’s really not. I find gender to be mostly a social construct anyway, and I default to compassion.
I grew up Christian and right wing, and did a lot of soul searching. Having realised gender is entirely a social construct, I realised I don’t have a problem with transgender people. Why does anyone care if a people outside a category takes arbitrary traits from the other category, or even the whole category?
The Christian viewpoint only makes sense if you believe that gender is a social construct that comes from God, not something invented. Well, it’s invented. Just like every concept, including our language. Including God.
And I absolutely agree with you about defaulting to compassion. Let people do what they want! Life is already hard enough.
If you default to compassion, you’ll do alright. Stay cool out there.
You too :)