I love and appreciate the work you’re doing to talk about women’s issues on the fediverse, god only knows the fediverse needs to hear it. I do wanna express the thought though that “always a man” doesnt really feel like it captures the issue very well
It feels like its intending to speak to one specific thing (the violence that women so frequently experience at the hands of men, and how that specific violence is a product of the specific way men are taught to relate to women under patriarchical social norms), but is not really clear enough to not invite misunderstanding
Men experience abuse at the hands of women at times also, and in that sense its not always a man. Women in lesbian and queer relationships experience abuse at the hands of their woman and enby partners at times, and in that sense sometimes abuse and violence happens to women that doesnt even involve a man in any direct way.
And I dont think those really speak to the point you’re trying to make, but I also think that it is always going to be hard for people to let down their defences and hear what’s intended and not what they’re worried you mean when you challenge parts of their socialization (like patriarchy or white supremacy), OR when they have existing hurt that a topic touches on (like their own experience with interpartner violence, sexual or otherwise)
“Not all men ofc, but always a man.” Feels like there are many people it is unlikely to reach who may otherwise be reachable, and risks alienating folks who have experienced very real sexual violence at the hands of partners outside of men, who already feel fairly alienated and like the kind of sexual violence they experienced isn’t seen as real or handled with care in a different separate way. And I dont think thats a good thing to risk doing. Nor do I think speaking to women’s issues necessitates it.
Anyway, if you read this thanks for hearing my thoughts. Just thought it was worth voicing cause thats the second time I’ve heard that specific phrase and I think its worth talking about whether it captures things well or does inadvertent harm
I love and appreciate the work you’re doing to talk about women’s issues on the fediverse, god only knows the fediverse needs to hear it. I do wanna express the thought though that “always a man” doesnt really feel like it captures the issue very well
It feels like its intending to speak to one specific thing (the violence that women so frequently experience at the hands of men, and how that specific violence is a product of the specific way men are taught to relate to women under patriarchical social norms), but is not really clear enough to not invite misunderstanding
Men experience abuse at the hands of women at times also, and in that sense its not always a man. Women in lesbian and queer relationships experience abuse at the hands of their woman and enby partners at times, and in that sense sometimes abuse and violence happens to women that doesnt even involve a man in any direct way.
And I dont think those really speak to the point you’re trying to make, but I also think that it is always going to be hard for people to let down their defences and hear what’s intended and not what they’re worried you mean when you challenge parts of their socialization (like patriarchy or white supremacy), OR when they have existing hurt that a topic touches on (like their own experience with interpartner violence, sexual or otherwise)
“Not all men ofc, but always a man.” Feels like there are many people it is unlikely to reach who may otherwise be reachable, and risks alienating folks who have experienced very real sexual violence at the hands of partners outside of men, who already feel fairly alienated and like the kind of sexual violence they experienced isn’t seen as real or handled with care in a different separate way. And I dont think thats a good thing to risk doing. Nor do I think speaking to women’s issues necessitates it.
Anyway, if you read this thanks for hearing my thoughts. Just thought it was worth voicing cause thats the second time I’ve heard that specific phrase and I think its worth talking about whether it captures things well or does inadvertent harm