I don’t know how other men are but generally when I see someone (of any genre) there’s like an automatic evaluation - not in words or conscious - that flags like “are they a threat? Are they hot?” and a bunch of other stuff. It’s just part of the “what am I looking at?” reflex in the brain.
But I don’t, like, linger on it. Don’t play out in my head what sex would be like, or how to defend myself if they pulled a knife, or whatever.
To make a computer metaphor, some attributes are eagerly loaded and others lazily. I think attractiveness is eagerly loaded.
Also I’m comfortable enough not to feel threatened by finding people attractive.
I had a friend that, when talking about this, seemed like their brain didn’t eagerly load the same things. They didn’t “know” if someone was hot until they thought about it, and were confused how that information was just there for me.
My brain operates only on “are they a threat”, and within that is “are they a friend”. I can name only a handful of people I find attractive if I’m pressed, but it’s always on a “this human is art” level.
I’m aroace, though, which likely is why I don’t evaluate people for hotness
I don’t know how other men are but generally when I see someone (of any genre) there’s like an automatic evaluation - not in words or conscious - that flags like “are they a threat? Are they hot?” and a bunch of other stuff. It’s just part of the “what am I looking at?” reflex in the brain.
But I don’t, like, linger on it. Don’t play out in my head what sex would be like, or how to defend myself if they pulled a knife, or whatever.
To make a computer metaphor, some attributes are eagerly loaded and others lazily. I think attractiveness is eagerly loaded.
Also I’m comfortable enough not to feel threatened by finding people attractive.
I had a friend that, when talking about this, seemed like their brain didn’t eagerly load the same things. They didn’t “know” if someone was hot until they thought about it, and were confused how that information was just there for me.
My brain operates only on “are they a threat”, and within that is “are they a friend”. I can name only a handful of people I find attractive if I’m pressed, but it’s always on a “this human is art” level.
I’m aroace, though, which likely is why I don’t evaluate people for hotness
What dat mean, aroace